The Rustbelt Tramp

For your health

2010-01-21T13:48:00.003-05:00

It always seems that there is an air of health-consciousness swirling around this time of year, as we reach the fourth and final week in which most people will actually continue their New Year's Resolutions. Keeping health in mind, John C. Reilly's hilarious character from Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job, Dr. Steve Brule, has some advice and living tips for you. Enjoy:

Godsmacked: Steve Doocy, classy as ever

2010-01-21T11:06:00.008-05:00

There was something inherently funny about the story of Bible verses being secretly embedded on the ACOG scopes used on U.S. Military rifles. Some folks would cite the irony of having Bible quotes on a weapon, other P.C. bastards would lament the absence of congruent verses from the Talmud or the Qur'an. Some people in fact got pretty pissed about it.

Fox News' Steve Doocy had another message regarding the 'Jesus guns'. Like the child in detention who, through fits of anger and tears, appeals that the fight was started by the other kid, Doocy blames the unjust criticism of the news on the real child who started this fight: Muslims.

"My wife made a good observation yesterday when we were taking about this story, and that is, 'Hey, wait a minute, the Taliban and the extremists -- what is it they say just before they blow themselves up which kills somebody, they say, 'Allahu Akbar.'' So if anybody's making this a religious thing, they started it," Doocy said.

Hmm...combat exttremism with extremism! I think your wife is onto something, Steve. They started the whole fundamentalist-religious-nutbag thing; we're just following suit. In fact, let's start doing this with all the things that the Arabs started - like algebra. Maybe if you worked on polynomial circles a little more and spent less time at the Fox studio, you would look less like the massive fucking douchebag that you are.

John Edwards: Caught with his "Pants on the Ground"

2010-01-21T09:32:00.006-05:00

You know, Josh and I were really beginning to enjoy our brief sabbatical from the blogging world. We've been swamped at work, booze-drenched on the weekends and overall too disgruntled with the very news we were perusing each day for inspiration to jot down one word of any real weight on this thing (which of course would be one word more than anything else on here that's worth a damn).

In retrospect, we missed golden opportunities time after time to post poignant, shrewd remarks about current events, which seemed to get stranger each day of this new decade:

- We allowed Mark McGwire to get off scott-free, without even a "lick my taint" tag from Rustbelt (we've got you now, Markie - see below - oh yeah, and fuck you).

- We didn't contribute, for obvious reasons, to the media shitstorm and profiteering from the terrible tragedy in Haiti. Hell, we let Pat Robertson blame a pact with Satan on that earthquake - without even a "lick my taint" tag for him either! (done and done - oh yeah, fuck you too, Pat Robertson).

- I think an election upset happened, too...we'll let the pros cover this one.

- We didn't get the opportunity to proclaim loudly to our five readers (if they're even still around) that we are, in fact, with Coco, something that among all of these missed opportunities I am actually truly sorry for. Our hatred for NBC in reaction to them closing down the big screen outside of the Igloo will be duly sustained for years to come . Or until we cave and watch 30 Rock.

But it was not the events above, dear reader, that got us out of the Fortress of Solitude we were hunkered down inside somewhere in the Yukon. All appropriate enough to bring an exile's return, it would take more to get two lazy bloggers off of their asses, into clean clothes and out of our fuzzy obscurity that has been 2010. And John Edwards did it for us, in more ways than one.

What a guy. Now that I have gotten to what I had initially wanted to comment on, it has a degree of frivolity to it that almost seems silly to go on. The bastard cheated on his wife multiple times, who at the time was being treated for cancer. That alone is reason enough to never regard John Edwards as a good guy for the rest of his nice haircut-sporting life. But, after all of that, to resurface in the news nearly two years later with the confirmation that you have a love child? Wow.

This is a guy that really had a free ride into his second consecutive campaign as a candidate for Vice-President of the United States. He was a fulcrum in the midst of the see-saw of death and bodily fluids that was the Obama-Clinton primary. Through the debates he emitted that squeaky-clean, Southern Democrat, safe-bet-for-a-VP aura. But it turned out he was not only a big enough douche to cheat on his wife, but a big enough moron to get one of those lucky ladies pregnant. What an unbelievable piece of shit.

At least, amidst all of the other bad shit happening, Edward's admission of his wrongdoing is helping make this decade a success: by starting off with your standards exceedingly low, we certainly are not destined for disappointment in the roaring 'teens. Not the way we're going.

That's actually the exact mind-state we have been in regarding the blog.

Some lovin' from USA hockey

2010-01-07T16:46:00.003-05:00

We're a few days behind on this, but what the hell...

Rustbelt would like to extend our congrats to the USA World Juniors Champions. This team of ~~kids who will earn more in one year than we will in a lifetime~~ future NHL'ers defeated Canada 6-5 in overtime after blowing a two goal lead late in the third. We salute you sons of hockey... Hopefully the USA Olympic team will have the same results.

Also if you haven't seen this yet, take a look... Nothing like pubescent screaming after winning gold:

*Author's note: If you couldn't quite follow that difficult rhyme scheme, the last line is "we just kicked your fucking ass"*

Jason Bay the...Met?

2010-01-07T13:53:00.004-05:00

Let's play a fun game! Click Jason's big Canadian smile below to find how long it will take him to earn your annual salary!

Are you committing suicide yet? Can you believe this guy was a Pirate? What is the meaning of life?

This week in mind-blowingly awesome metal

2010-01-06T16:14:00.005-05:00

British actor Sir Christopher Lee, who is 87 years old, just cut a symphonic heavy-metal concept album about Charlemagne, the first Holy Roman Emperor.

Yes, folks, you read that correctly. In a bold move from his old post at Isengard, Saruman the White is now singing songs about shedding the blood of the Saxons. Metal!

Hey, that kinda looks like Ryan

You're curious, admit it. That's why you should check some of the jams out below, so you can see what caused our skin to legitimately melt off of our face. Charlemagne metal!! From Christopher fucking Lee!

h/t Gamma Squad

Fuck you, Ron Cook

2010-01-06T10:24:00.005-05:00

You know what? We've temporarily transformed into a sports blog, and you're going to have to deal with it. We apologize that Steelers and Penguins talk, along with the occasional irate comment about the Pirates' front office, is a shit ton more interesting than the mundane and head-slammingly-stupid stuff going on in the news and current events department.

No, it is sports that has our attention at the very moment. And you know what else? The fact that we are in Great Depression 2.0, and amidst all of the job seekers and college grads out pounding the pavement looking for gainful employment, Ron Cook is still permitted churn out the worst sports columns in the history of man.

Not only are they generally boring, but his columns insult Pittsburgh sports fans with highbrow dickheadedness you should only be able to find at this very blog and from the lips of Mark Madden. He wrote one a few weeks ago slamming hockey fans for getting energized about a fight rather than a big win. He constantly berates Steelers fans, incessantly touting his supreme knowledge of the game over us common folk's desire to see a good football team and a good batch of coaches (a pun in there for Josh) hit the field. He repeated this offense today, in defense of Bruce Arians.

Arians is no kid -- he's 57 -- but he has kept up with the times.
He gets it.
It's hard to say that same thing about many Steelers fans. They conveniently forget that Arians' offense was plenty good enough to help the team win the championship last season, especially during a magical fourth-quarter drive in Super Bowl XLIII. But they can't wait to blame him for the failures this season, unfair as that blame is. If I received a nickel every time somebody said he needs to be more committed to the running game, I'd be a wealthy man. It's ridiculous.

Wrong, bitch. Rather than forget, we remember than Ben was in charge during that last scoring drive in the Big Dance last year. That's why Roethlisberger has such a hard-on for papa Arians, because he lets the beefcake QB call sixty percent of the plays. It's Ben who is keeping that offense in sync, not Arians.

But it doesn't matter what else we type here. It doesn't mater that Arians probably deserves getting fired, doesn't matter that Steelers fans are mad as hell about all of this. The fact is, at the end of the day, Ron Cook is still going to have a job writing a shitty sports column for a decent newspaper, and we're still going to claim to know all there is to know about the great sport of American football. Life goes on, I guess. But we're so goddamn mad at this bastard!

Again I say: Fuck you, Ron Cook.

Late Night Video Club

2010-01-05T21:49:00.002-05:00

Broken Bells - The High Road

For our first 2010 Late Night we present Danger Mouse & James Mercer of The Shins doin' their thing in style.

2010 Steelers Preview 1.5: Quarterback Coach

2010-01-05T17:53:00.003-05:00

Mar promised you wouldn't have to put up with further Steelers nonsense until we broke down the draft and attempted to put together what the team needs. He lied. News out of P-tahn is that quarterbacks coach Ken Anderson retired today. This, along with the news that Bruce "yub nub" Arians may finally be shown the goddamn door, has us wondering who will step up.

For the former, we have an idea:

Now before you get all up in arms screaming about how he's still our backup quarterback just wait. Batch is 35 years old, and while there are a few quarterback's in the league playing beyond that age, it is time to start thinking about the future. We watched Dennis Dixon play in college, and after a good start in Baltimore, marred by the horrendous play calling of Arians, we find him to be quite suitable in the backup role. In fact, if good ol' Bruce had let him move more and act less like Big Ben we may have pulled out a win. Asshole...

Anyway... Batch has been a part of this team since 2002. He has been around since the days of Kordell Stewart and Tommy Maddox. Last we checked Slash is going to be working for that joke of a football league, the UFL and Maddox is... well who the hell knows.

He took Ben under his wing just as much as Bettis took Willie Parker under his, and if you don't think he has been doing the same with Dixon than you can kindly go piss up a rope. He has seen the different systems run in this town, and the man knows how to break it down for young, doe-eyed ball chuckers.

We will watch as this situation unfolds, but for now Rustbelt is officially casting its vote for Charlie Batch as the new quarterbacks coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers... You listening Art Rooney 2?!

The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bruce

2010-01-05T15:37:00.004-05:00

In other Steelers' news, we learned today that all of those Christmas prayers we sent up to the six-pound, eight-ounce baby Jesus may have come true: miraculously, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin finally listened to us and is going to fire Bruce Arians.

This has only been reported on Pittsburgh's local ESPN radio station, so let's not get our hopes up just yet. However, this would be an epic win for Steelers fans if true. Everyone knows that our smashmouth style of play has been tainted with Arians' shoddy playcalling and belief that you don't need a fullback to run the ball (turns out you do).

Frontal view of Bruce "Dreamkiller" Arians.
Seriously, fuck him.

So farewell, Bruce, you bastard. May you take your stupid sunglasses and your staggeringly predictable two tight-end sets to another team, of which I am sure you will do your best to continue your plot to alienate fans and ruin lives. Godspeed, John Glenn.

2010 Steelers Preview 1.0: Free Agents

2010-01-05T10:08:00.004-05:00

Greetings, children, and a happy new year from our dysfunctional family to yours. We have fully recovered from ~~our hangovers~~ the holidays and are looking forward to another year of astute observation in all the things you care about, so long as you care about the same things we care about. Otherwise, you're a douche.

They tell me in that blur that was the first weekend of "the year before the year before the Mayan Apocalypse" that the Steelers won, but were eliminated from the playoffs amid other teams' key wins or losses. That saddened me at the time, from what I remember, and the knowledge is presently doing so yet again.

So, in a way to sort-of get over the fact that football season is over in our great city, we glanced at the list of Steelers who are up for free agency, and compiled a list of who we think should stay, who we think should go, and who we think should be kicked down that random hole in Sparta.

Here is the list of the prominent Steelers who, pending negotiations, are up for Free Agency: Tyrone Carter, Ryan Clark, Casey Hampton, William Gay, Travis Kirschke, Willie Parker, Jeff Reed, Daniel Sepulveda, Willie Colon and DeShea Townsend. Some of our commentary below is cross-posted from a reply I made to friend of the blog's Champsburgh, a blog you should be checking out because they're smarter than you. Okay, off we go:

- Let Tyrone Carter go. He is turning 34 this year and is in the twilight of his career. We can nab another cornerback in free agency, if need be. Truth be told, we better be drafting another cornerback in the first few rounds anyways, because I think Ike Taylor's flash in the pan years are about over.

- Willie Gay should stick around. His poor performance this year may actually help in contract talks. Remember how rocky Troy Polamalu's start in this league was? Gay is 24 and, with a push, has the potential to light things up in the secondary.

- Ryan Clark should be re-signed because of how cohesive he and Troy make the defense. He was frustrated and made some stupid comments this year; but who could replace him? I would like to see him make more plays when the ball is in the air, rather than just laying big hits on a receiver who has already made a catch. Still, letting Clark go would be high-risk, low-reward immediately.

- Peace out, Jeff Reed. He's old and I don't think necessarily reformed in his ways. Don't expect the Rooneys to offer him an extension, and don't expect us to care. We see him taking a job working with Joe Francis, traveling around to college towns and creeping out underage girls.

- Sepulveda needs to stay. So long as our special teams collectively gets its shit together, Sepulveda's punts have been a breath of fresh air next to those lobs that Berger used to put up last year. Danny is clutch, and can kick the ball and hit if called to action.

- So long, Deshea. He'll be 35 next season, and I don't really know what he could do to remedy the Steelers' pass defense. Actually, Deshea should retire. I would rather see DeWayne Washington back in the secondary than see Deshea back there. He has a great attitude and pretty good vision, but is pretty worthless in most coverage packages. In being a defensive back, you need to be a) young or b) fast as all hell. Deshea Townshend is neither of these things.

- I wish we could fire Willie Colon. I would rather take my chances drafting an O-line man and starting him as a rookie, but knowing the Rooneys' forgiving stance on linemen, I see Colon sticking around. He could be replaced, though, and is most definitely the weakest link on that line. He is the Rico Fata of that Offensive Line, next to Max Starks' Ryan Whitney.

- I would like to see Willie Parker offered a contract, and I see the Rooneys doing so. Unfortunately, based on Rashard showing flashes of LT this season, Parker is going to have to take a pay cut to stick around, something that is improbable when dealing with a running back with two Super Bowl rings. Parker has been frustrated with the Bruce Arians offense (as we all have - oh yeah, FIRE ARIANS) and I can see him leaving. Sad, because Parker is a good guy and a dependably speedy running back.

- Hampton is another player that I would like to see re-signed but will probably be cut loose. The Steelers have not liked his volatile weight issues, and his playing style is a little extreme. He is always on the verge of an injury. But guess what? The man is still a beast and is going to the Pro Bowl this year. I say sign Hampton, especially in light of other defensive woes.

- I like Travis Kirschke, but the man is 35. He is always hurt, and his on-again, off-again status is affecting would-be replacements. I would like to see our drafted D linemen (like Ziggy Hood) get polished. I respect veteran players, but in a position like the D line, we need a young guy to match the veterans in Kiesel, Smith and Hampton. Let Kirschke go.

That is all for now. We will be returning (as well as with quasi-regular posting again) with a 2.0 feature regarding potential draft picks. Until then, thank you for toughing it out on this long ass post. Go Pens.

New job for the Penguins' coaching staff

2009-12-29T14:35:00.005-05:00

Bobsled team (from the Penguins' official website):

BUFFALO, NY -- After an adventurous trip the Pittsburgh Penguins have finally reached their hotel in Buffalo, NY – a trip which included several run-ins with Mother Nature – most notably the sight of the Penguins coaching and support staff pushing a team bus after it became stuck on a slick Buffalo street.

With the Penguins about three blocks from reaching their hotel the first bus carrying the players, coaches and support staff could not get its wheels moving on the snow-covered streets. Within seconds head coach Dan Bylsma and several others were rushing out of the door to the rear of the vehicle.

You can't fool us, Yeo. We know you're half-assing that push.

20 Bucks says Granato's the first one in

The Yemen Song

2009-12-29T09:29:00.005-05:00

Yes, I know that's my second Zeppelin reference in a row today; suck it.

Since we are predator-droning the "khara" out of Afghanistan right now but still getting terrorized by al-Qaida and their explosive underwear from hell, some folks over in intelligence have decided to pull their heads out of their collective ass and figure out exactly what is going on (read: what is going WRONG) with the War on Terror.

That, and they're probably asking themselves why security and customs employees at airports are so incompetent. They really are. Don't let people onto planes with a gun, a knife, a bomb or a pact with their respective deity to blow the West to shit. Easier than a union job.

But all of that aside, there are others, lawmakers, who are asking another question: why not start another war? Because there certainly are at least, like, eight other countries that classify as an Arab nation that we are currently not at war with. Why not start one with...Yemen? Jesus...

And not only are people starting to freak out about Yemen, but some of those fears might not necessarily be futile: apparently Yemen is a pretty good farm team for al-Qaida.

In short, we are all going to die. CBS agrees. Ho ho fucking ho.

Your "no shit" headline of the day

2009-12-29T09:13:00.004-05:00

Metallica drummer struggles with ringing in ears

Breakthrough piece on tinnitus, CNN. I had not a clue in the world that a drummer in a heavy fucking metal band probably suffers from some kind of hearing affliction. Well, that and the thing that agonizes all rock drummers - pure balls-out insanity.

Look at old Bonzo, for chrissakes. Tell me that man didn't have hearing issues (some of which were probably catalyzed by the pure grain alcohol he like to pour into his system by the quart) among other afflictions.

In fact, the ringing in Lars Ulrich of Metallica's ears probably has been caused by his own laughter after running to the bank. It's either that or, by accident, that poor bastard discovered his band's Pirate Bay page.

Happy Pagan Day!

2009-12-25T01:17:00.000-05:00

We here at The Rustbelt Tramp felt it was necessary to take some time away from our ~~heavy drinking~~ families and wish you all a Merry Christmas:

Our goal is to top this list next year

2009-12-22T14:40:00.003-05:00

Congrats to Glenn Beck for winning a dubious honor today in Media Matters' Misinformer of the Year award. The liberal-swaying news watchdog selected Beck unanimously for various reasons such as making things up, batshit crying tantrums and simulating the assassination of the Speaker of the House, among many others.

In honor of Beck's work, which is clearly comparable to Studs Terkel, Homer, H.L. Mencken and other journalist greats, Media Matters assembled a video montage of some of the man's classier work:

Congratulations, Glenn. Thanks to you, we Americans and our truth are safe from the clutches of those godless socio-fascist black people. Thank you.

Saudi Arabia: A beacon of hope

2009-12-21T14:35:00.002-05:00

Have you ever read a headline that made you chuckle? Ever read an article and feel really good afterwords? Like the world really isn't a giant crater of shit and stupidity and the faster its immune system flushes all of mankind out the better?

This is not one of those stories.

A Lebanese man who hosted a popular TV show where he gave callers advice and sometimes predicted the future was sentenced to death by a court in Saudi Arabia last month. His charge? Sorcery.
...
Sibat confessed to Saudi authorities that he consulted spirits to predict the future. But the authorities didn't release him. Instead, they brought him to a TV studio and told him to confess again. The conversation was broadcast on a Saudi program about religion.

"How do you rate yourself among magicians?" an interviewer asked Sibat. "What?" said Sibat, clearly nervous. "I have failed. I confess in front of God."

Sibat was then tried in court, and the confession was used against him. He was sentenced to death on Nov. 9. Saudi justice officials would not respond to several requests for comment about his case.

Well that is just fucking marvelous. Not only is it frowned upon to practice sorcery or witchcraft in Saudi Arabia, easily a topper on the "top countries with the highest concentration of crazy irrational religious people per square mile" charts, but now you can get your ass killed by doing such harmful, Satanic things like predicting the future.

But then again, if you told me this kind of stuff was going down in a small town in Utah somewhere, I would believe you. So I guess we should tip our hats to the Saudi government for being that crazy that they'll at least own their shit on this issue. Now if only they could figure out what to do with all of those goddamn Twihards...

It's Christmas time in Western Pennsylvania

2009-12-21T09:56:00.005-05:00

Stay Classy DC Police

2009-12-20T13:09:00.002-05:00

As the DC and Northern Virginia population dig out from underneath the record setting snow storm that got dropped on our laps (this author spent an hour digging his car out of a parking spot), something disturbing has popped up...

Yesterday afternoon during the storm's epic peak, a large group of people gathered in the Logan Square area on U street for a massive snow ball fight. We were able to watch some video, and our only thoughts were... why the hell aren't we in town?! Unfortunately, the snowball fight took a bad turn when a DC police officer drew his weapon. SERIOUSLY?!?

Oh yes...

Now we can understand being slightly unhinged during this situation. The storm was terrible, it has caused delays and closing all over the area, and a giant pain in the ass for emergency services, BUT YOU PULLED YOUR GODDAMN GUN AFTER BEING HIT WITH A SNOWBALL!

DC police is currently investigating the incident. Until then, Rustbelt Tip O' the Day: Never bring a gun to a snowball fight.

Snowy

2009-12-19T09:33:00.002-05:00

In honor of the blizzard that is currently burying metro DC, we present you with Sidney Crosby's personal nor'easter:

Beautiful.

h/t to the Pensblog

Hip Hop Friday

2009-12-18T10:45:00.004-05:00

Outkast - Rosa Parks

Because, two decades later, these guys are still so cool.

Congratulations, Sir

2009-12-18T09:54:00.003-05:00

"He's a walking miracle. Sam is absolutely a walking miracle."

THANK YOU JEEBUS

2009-12-17T09:57:00.002-05:00

Six more groceries to sell beer

If you live in Pennsylvania, you know how much of a giant pain in the ass it is to get some hooch. Simply pinning down the location of a beer store in some neighborhoods is a difficult and daunting task. After fruitless searches for a case of delicious Iron City, if you're like me, you end up giving up and going to the nearest bar and spending too much money on a few six packs.

Then we have liquor. People that work in Pennsylvania liquor stores are literally agents of the Evil One. If you're walking out of there with anything more than a bottle of robust red, they're going to look at you like you're Billy Joel about to crash your car into a house. That's bullshit. If I want to drink a bottle of gin that comes in a plastic half-gallon bottle, that's my alcohol problem, not yours, man.

And sadly, we Pennsylvanians have not been offered an alternative. The Liquor Control Board, or as they're known in these parts, The Fun Police, holds the monopoly on wines and spirits, and you have be a licensed beer distributor to sell cases of beer.

So, even though Giant Eagle can be kind of crappy at times, it's still good news to know that they're getting aggressive with this Puritan booze law in the state. I don't care if the people who originally populated Pennsylvania did so because they were too tight-assed to stick around Europe and its hedonistic ways - I want beer, motherfucker!

You have got to be shitting me

2009-12-16T10:11:00.002-05:00

I guess since Bernanke is doing such a wonderful job of managing our Federal Reserve, Time decided to reward him with this bizarre, Maoist cover and dubious honor. In fact, Bernanke now has something else he can talk to Bono about, other than how Bono really knows best what's for poor people. We'll lay off Bono, though, because The Joshua Tree is a pretty damn good album.

Come to think of it, a few years ago, they made Vladimir Putin the person of the year. Then, during the YouTube boom, thanks to wonderful contributions to society like "Chocolate Rain" and videos of our children biting each other, Time named "us" as person of the year. So these guys have been, for quite some time indeed, losing their fucking marbles.

Like you've never been too lazy to do something

2009-12-15T11:25:00.002-05:00

We apologize for the brief hiatus, folks. We've been too busy hangin' arahnd dahntahn, I guess:

We'll be posting regularly again soon. Until then, everything's waitin' for yinz.

Reason #3,467,210 the Pensblog is greater than you...

2009-12-09T20:19:00.003-05:00

As 2009 works its way to the end, the world finds itself looking back upon this year. NPR has started the always epic Year in Music series. Google is attempting to suck you farther into their grasp with a new way to look at their site everyday until that big, shiny ball drops. Mar has started his list of ways to roofie that chick you've been eying up on Carson Street, and even the Pensblog has found a way to celebrate. Of course, they have to out-do the rest of the world and show us damn near a decade's worth of happy-go-lucky moments.

The geniuses who run that site have taken the time to compile what they feel are the top Pittsburgh Penguins moments of 2000-2009. Go watch these videos now.

If at least half of those don't send chills down your spine you're not human.

*Author's note: Nice use of Don't Dream It's Over in the first video.*

The Steelers aren't the only team with offensive line issues

2009-12-09T11:01:00.003-05:00

Either this guy was nervous as all hell, paid off, or just standing there contemplating his life after reading Tim Tebow's biblical eye paint of the day.

He obviously wasn't mimicking Willie Colon, or else he would have blatantly held someone a few seconds after getting beat.

Either way, this guy is probably going to take a few personal days from class. Not as many as that dude from Pitt, though.

Sketchy Santas

2009-12-09T10:14:00.004-05:00

This is by far the best blog on the internet right now.

In the time that we just wasted at this site, we could have gotten 20 projects done at work and posted on here six or seven times (one if it's Ryan, zero if it's Matt).

Here are some of our favorites:

Did the Santa mask seem like a good idea when this dude woke up? Did he decide to do his best impression of the Guy Fawkes mask-wearing vigilante from V for Vendetta rather than make the attempt to look happy all day? Either way, this might be one of the most terrifying images on the web right now.

The classic boozy Santa. You need something to numb the pain of knowing that you're going to have hold strange children, most of whom will hate you, and look like you are enjoying yourself for a large span of time. Turns out Old Crow can do just that.

If you don't think this is the background on my computer right now, you are sadly mistaken. Those sunglasses are on EBay for $200,000.

There are lots more, from menacing Santas to ones that completely half-assed it. Either way, you're bound to recall a few terrifying moments of your childhood in which your parents placed your life in the hands of a strange man wearing Santa garb in the middle of a shopping mall. Unless, of course, you were placed under the care of this man; in which case, you're probably missing.

h/t The Pensblog

Late Night Video Club

2009-12-08T17:29:00.000-05:00

The Dave Brubeck Quartet - Take 5

Because this man has more cool/talent in his pinkie than you'll ever have.

Blog Outsourcing...3.0? It's been a while

2009-12-07T09:48:00.006-05:00

Hark! It appears God's opinion is quite similar to my own.
Turns out people like the idea that their own beliefs are conducive to the King of Kings' - but according to a new study, it actually just makes religion an echo chamber of sort for someone's already established opinion - no matter how wrong that opinion may be. It's good to know that, like myself, God wants all those gays to quit wanting to get all married and shit. That does feel good.

Pearl Harbor happened today, 1941.
Clicking the above link will direct you to the story of the "mystery submarine" that also allegedly participated in the siege on the U.S. Naval base. No comments were submitted from the local chapter of the "Pearl Harbor Truthers."

Those attention whores from the State Dinner aren't the first to breach Secret Service.
No, it appears that over the span of twenty-odd years, 91 security breaches have been reported by officials. That's not even counting the time we made it halfway onto the White House lawn dressed as giant pretzels during the Bush II years. 92, bitches.

The timetable for Afghanistan is, like, flexible and stuff.
Debacle: [dey-bah-kuhl, -bak-uhl, duh-]
- noun

1.	a general breakup or dispersion; sudden downfall or rout.

2.	a complete collapse or failure.

3.	a breaking up of ice in a river.

4.	a violent rush of waters or ice.

See Also: Clusterfuck, shitstorm, quagmire, failure, Iraq

The Tea Party replacing the GOP? Survey says yes.
So apparently, among voters of the FREEDOM NO TAXES JESUS CAMOUFLAGE GOD NO ABORTION EAGLE PATRIOT OLD GLORY NO MUSLIMS APPLE PIE persuasion, the Tea Party is the political affiliation they would like to be identified with, not the Republican Party. This is just getting more and more fucking embarrassing.

President Obama is going to be late to the Copenhagen climate talks
No doubt this is because he knows climate change is bullshit. He just wants to attend the finale of the talks to see if Italy's bringing cannolis again.

aw HELL no!

2009-12-07T06:58:00.003-05:00

It appears the NHL is considering renaming the their annual awards in an attempt to make them seem more relevant to people who are just beginning to watch hockey, and those who wait in the wings.

Bullshit.

This idea fails harder than whoever thought it would be a good idea to rename the divisions. Tossing aside awesome names like Adams, Norris, Smythe and Patrick Divisions in favor of generic, geographic locations like what the NHL uses now.

One of the greatest assets hockey has is the history and tradition that runs deep in the sport. Sure many people might not know that the Lady Byng trophy, presented to the player least like to knock your goddamn head off, was donated by... you guessed it Lady Byng. This hip lady was wife of the former Governor General of Canada and a huge hockey fan.

As much as we would love to see Le Magnifique honored by a trophy it should not be at the cost of losing the history that is already there. Gretsky, Orr, Lemieux and Howe will forever live on in hockey... but for Christ's sake don't rename the awards after them!

*Side note* Sean Leahy of Puck Daddy proposes an idea Rustbelt can get behind. Rename the divisions after these big hockey names. This about it... Pittsburgh as the 2010-2011 Buries It Division Champions!?!? AWESOME!

h/t to the Pensblog

Your post-Steelers game reminder that it could be worse

2009-12-06T21:53:00.002-05:00

You could be the guy who was asked to paint this fucking thing:

Mmmm...children...cupid....washboard abs...

The Pittsburgh celebrity experience

2009-12-04T10:16:00.003-05:00

Look - we all remember Sienna Miller's batshit tantrum after a bouncer at some bar didn't recognize her.

But since that whole fiasco (which resulted in a shitty movie based on a great book), there has been something about the city of Pittsburgh that makes celebrities happy, and not in the quaint way that little towns with antique shops make your parents happy. It's actually becoming a cool city, and one in which departing celebrities have plenty of good things to say.

Then, there are people like Jake Gyllenhaal, who loved his stay here so much that he got a Steelers tramp stamp.

It was so good, in fact, that he left with a Steelers logo tattooed on his lower back, which he showed to the audience to great applause. Whether it was temporary or permanent only he and his tattoo artist really know.
...
He's been a Patriots fan, but came to love the Steelers, too, he said. He attended two games while here, and also talked about eating Primanti sandwiches and accepting a Terrible Towel from a fan.

Perhaps, as film expenses rise in traditional movie cities, more celebrities are drawn here and much more frequently. It certainly doesn't help that, in light of what has been going on in the rest of country economics-wise, Pittsburgh is kind-of enjoying a Renaissance of sorts. Either way, between President Obama's obsession with Pamela's pancakes, the aforementioned tramp stamp and Russel Crowe's respect for Pittsburgh sports fans, that Pittsburgh is a lot like Hansel - we're pretty hot right now.

Climategate: catch the fever!

2009-12-03T09:42:00.007-05:00

Well it seemed a few weeks ago like the time had come to drive the final stake through the heart of that myth they call global warming. The villagers were restless, the torches were lit and they each clutched their pitchforks; and in their other shaking fist, an article from their favorite conservative blog citing the emails that came from some bald scientist at Penn State.

Half of this angry mob was so well camouflaged that, when standing in front of the wooded area out behind the Sam's Club the group used as their staging location, they were barely noticeable.

The emails in question that catalyzed this premature conservative victory, which were illegally obtained by the way (a common tactic among those folks it seems), may have also sparked some sympathetic predilections among other scientists and learned folk, who know how stressful their job can be:

This paranoid interpretation would be laughable were it not for the fact that obstructionist politicians in the US Senate will probably use it next year as an excuse to stiffen their opposition to the country's much needed climate bill. Nothing in the e-mails undermines the scientific case that global warming is real — or that human activities are almost certainly the cause. That case is supported by multiple, robust lines of evidence, including several that are completely independent of the climate reconstructions debated in the e-mails.

You see, angry mob? There are those who feel that it is the irrational scrutiny and pressure placed on climatologists that goads them into making their results clearer and perhaps more accessible to a group that still thinks Dinosaurs are only 10,000 years old. Maybe cut them a little slack, and we'll forgive you for wasting all that CO2 talking to your peers in line to get your copy of Going Rogue signed.

This should creep you out

2009-12-02T12:22:00.003-05:00

Nazis! Ahhh!

Stay Classy, U.S. Senator Tom Coburn (R- duh)

2009-12-01T14:00:00.005-05:00

Today's shitstorm of lies comes from Tom Coburn, a Republican from Oklahoma who has a problem with the Democrats' health care proposals. Tom's view isn't a far cry from the notion that there are not going to be Death Panels awaiting your grandmother's next visit to the hospital, armed with a baseball bat covered in razorblades that have all been soaking in cyanide, but at least it's not that negative. He just thinks that grannie is going to die sooner naturally, that's all!

"If it doesn't raise costs, and we're truly going to take this money from Medicare, what it's going to do to our seniors is, I have a message for you: 'You're gonna die sooner.'"

Wait...let me get this straight. You don't want a government-run public option because you're afraid it's going to take money from A GOVERNMENT-RUN PUBLIC (albeit limited to the elderly) OPTION!?

Tweeting - ur doing it wrong

2009-12-01T13:03:00.005-05:00

This is why live-action Twitter updates are probably not a good idea when there's a picture of your news team next to the headlines:

Epic fail. And no, that's not our Monroeville.

Late Night Video Club

2009-12-01T10:36:00.001-05:00

The Black (Fuckin') Keys - Just Got to Be

Because no other album opens with a better song than this... hands down. It certainly helps that Magic Potion rocks your godforsaken face off.

Thankgiving break return, stupidity, etc.

2009-12-01T10:05:00.005-05:00

A lot has happened since last we hunkered down in front of our computers to churn out an angry rant about how god-awful the future of our country looks or something a little less serious, perhaps like a badass Star Wars wiki page (Have you visited it yet? You really are missing out if not).

So, after almost a week, we return from a break spent celebrating gluttony, watching football, debating whether or not we are going to enter a Rustbelt trebuchet in the next Punkin Chunkin event, going into the woods with a rifle, and listening to Alice's Restaurant on Repeat.

The Steelers lost, and subsequently have raised our blood pressure. The Penguins shellacked the Rangers twice. Keith Ballard hurt his own goalie in one of the most epic fails ever. President Obama grew a pair and decided we were going to get those terrorists in Afghanistan. But what we're really concerned about is this report on Yahoo! searches.

The biggest surprise in the list of 2009 top searches may be WWE, the official website for professional wrestling. The WWE website includes news of the latest matches and WWE superstar profiles and videos.
Below is the official top ten Yahoo! list for overall searches:
1. Michael Jackson 2. Twilight 3. WWE 4. Megan Fox 5. Britney Spears 6. Naruto 7. American Idol 8. Kim Kardashian 9. NASCAR 10. Runescape

You know, a lot of talk has been raised about our "Founding Fathers" and what not. Every self-proclaimed patriot and Constitution expert has literally been touching themselves to worthless drivel about our Founding Fathers, and what they would do in today's political and social climate.

Well, I think this is evidence that our Founding Fathers would be less concerned with the Muslim socialist Hitleresque baby killer running the country and would be more concerned with how ridiculously idiotic its inhabitants have become. And yes, nobody uses Yahoo! any more, so this isn't necessarily the largest focus group for judging society, but still - Naruto?!

**UPDATE** - Sadly, the Google list is not much better...

The Muppets rock

2009-11-25T14:55:00.003-05:00

The Muppets do Queen, and do it well:

Pretty good, Henson Studios. Pretty good. I'm thinking next time, they could do a Fraggle Rock version of DragonForce's Through the Fire and Flames. How sick nasty would that be?

That's no moon. It's the best website ever made.

2009-11-25T11:50:00.014-05:00

Thank you, Al Gore. Surely it is not what you had planned when you invented the internet, but Wookieepedia represents the internet's epic triumph of nerdery nonetheless. With amenities like the "Featured Article" (this week being Jedi Padawan Windo "Warble" Nend) and a Random Article link, this is officially our favorite thing on the internet right now.

Come on, like you didn't want to know what Han Solo was up to growing up and becoming awesome. Shazam! Now you know.

Haven't you lost sleep over whether or not C-3P0 was gay? Well I have; and although that question remains unanswered, we learn that Threepio not only was the leader of a robot rebellion at one time, but he friggin' dies:

Ever wonder what a Mandalorian civil war looks like? Now you know:

Finally, we would like to put a clause in our "Wikipedia should never be used for actual information" rule on Rustbelt. Yes, Wikipedia can only be used for humor's sake or to get a point across (like hyperlinking Iraq when talking about mistakes), but Wookieepedia is a valid internet source and should - and will - be treated as such.

This week in historical inaccuracies

2009-11-25T10:01:00.002-05:00

Look, no one is perfect. Everyone's mixed up history at least once or twice, so we're not saying former Bush White House Press Secretary Dana Perino is incompetent. But wow.

Perino is a contributor to the pants-shitting going on in the media about whether Fort Hood was a terrorist attack or not and whether or not that matters (it doesn't). She went on Fox News recently (shocker) to talk about it, and went on to say Obama's refusal to dub the incident a terrorist attack is a political move.

"We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term," she told Sean Hannity. "I hope they're not looking at this politically. I do think that we owe it to the American people to call it what it is."

Ah, Dana must mean the second term, the term that she worked the last leg of, during that whole "yeah this country is balls-deep in problems but we're emotionally checked out" period. Because there was...well, forget it.

Hug a girl from the side, be a gangsta

2009-11-25T09:09:00.004-05:00

We all know that nothing makes Jesus more mad than genitals touching, even through the protective barrier of clothing. It's science.

Thankfully, we have a way to address this issue - which undoubtedly has become the most pressing challenge the church faces in our time - of young people becoming oddly satisfied with being in an embrace with the front of someone else.

In fact, I am told, some young people do this without said clothing. I believe it is universally known as the "No-Pants Dance," but I am not sure. I give side hugs.

What's a side hug, you may ask? Well, it's only the greatest invention in the world. You see, people like me know that God would rather have us out spreading his word and giving handjobs to bananas rather than getting all hot and bothered in an embrace with some babe from our youth group.

And, luckily, there are people like me who are even more awesome. They're so awesome that they made this rap song, which is chock full of sick nasty beats and even comes to a gangsta violent ending all while spreading the holy message of the "Christian Side-Hug".

Which, come to think of it, could have just been called the side-hug, since no one has ever wanted to give anyone one of these before, ever. Or maybe the "happy birthday, Uncle Jerry, you're drunk" hug. I don't know.

Phrases you don't usually like seeing together

2009-11-24T16:39:00.003-05:00

'Unusual event' reported at Beaver County nuclear plant

Apparently there is nothing to fear, as that is simply a classification for a situation not involving radiation leaks. Either way, sources at the plant say this worker, who is probably to blame for the incident, has been missing from the scene for quite some time:

I just blew a line of Lipitor to be safe

2009-11-24T10:14:00.002-05:00

Angry young men risk heart attacks

This news hopefully does not come too late for Josh and me. Luckily, we nipped this in the bud a few years ago when we decided that drinking a bottle of whiskey was no longer going to be regarded as an option for how to spend an evening; however, as anyone who occasionally glances over some of our musings here knows, we tend to get a bit worked up over the little things.

The author, pictured above about 30 seconds after
the Twilight media blitz began

Given our blatant disregard of health as it is, frequent drunken rampages and affinity for Primanti's cappicola sandwiches - and paired with this article's finding that young men with anger issues and temper flares are three times more likely to develop heart disease - if we switch our diets to strictly vegan right now, we'll at least make it to around thirty. Huzzah!

Hip-Hop Friday

2009-11-21T02:42:00.003-05:00

It's late, but still Friday in my eyes, so fuck you. Plus, I was waiting for the other one to dip out the other page; deal with it.

Danger Doom - The Mask ft. Ghostface Killah

Now we know how Vietnam feels about our newfangled search engines

2009-11-20T17:27:00.002-05:00

100% virgin pulp?!

Daryl Metcalfe: keeping state politics pants-shittingly crazy

2009-11-20T13:09:00.008-05:00

This only matters to our PA readers, so like, maybe three of you, but is interesting for all you other bohemians nonetheless.

It pains me to tell you that our favorite birther and Thomas Jefferson-misquoting state rep is now the chairman of the House Intergovernmental Affairs Committee.

Fortunately, nobody really knows what the fuck state government - let alone a lesser-known committee - does other than waste time, get bonuses and use state money for campaigns.

In light of this historic moment for the good Representative, we took a walk down memory lane to give you all some of our favorite moments of Metcalfe's stellar legislative career:

Opposed a resolution for "Domestic Abuse Awareness Month" in the state because the legislation noted males being abused as well, and thus according to Metcalfe was "promoting the homosexual agenda."
Called veterans who were campaigning for climate change "traitors to the oath he or she took to defend the Constitution of this great nation" for promoting a progressive agenda about the global warming.
Refused to support a resolution honoring 60 years of service to a Muslim group because, here's the kicker, "Muslims don't recognize Jesus Christ as God."

Good to know that a true patriot is in a leadership position in our great state. I feel that the Constitution, or at least the parts that allow me to keep an AR-15 in my house in case any immigrants get in, is truly being kept safe in the gentle hands of a good church-going man.

Mick Foley + The Daily Show = YES

2009-11-20T11:02:00.005-05:00

You may recall a post we did on that very articulate young kid who is taking a stand for gay marriage. We gave you our take, and were anxiously awaiting Jon Stewart's take, because it was going to inevitably be funnier and all-around more intelligent than anything we could have strung together.

Thankfully, we were correct. And to top it off, Stewart brings back one of the great heroes of our time, the professional wrestler who at one point was the reason I used to take off my sock and force it into a friend's mouth and subsequently had no friends, Mick Foley, a.k.a. Dude Love, a.k.a. Mankind.

Stewart offers a pretty good security force to young William Philips, who has been called a "gay-wad" by his peers. Even this shit rag suggested - quite dichheadedly - that Philips learn how to fight; I guess they ran out of things to write about in defense of Oliver North and Richard Nixon. Don't even do them the dignity of clicking the above link.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Gaywatch - Peter Vadala & William Phillips

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

Reason #9,867,417 why I am urging Canada to annex Michigan

2009-11-19T14:49:00.007-05:00

Thousands line up in Michigan for Palin

Our favorite quote from the article above:

One supporter screamed, "Tea party!"

I mean, come on people, does our great union really look all that different without that cesspool of idiocy, shame and this?!

Think about it.

Oh holy sweet babies please let this happen

2009-11-19T14:17:00.003-05:00

The Consol Energy Center is impressive, it really is. It dominates the view into downtown from the Hill District, greeting you with a booming "HELLO! HOCKEY!!" when driving down Centre Avenue. Even its construction time has been so atypical of the Pittsburgh-esque glacial-paced development trend we've grown accustomed to.

Either way, the Con is not the Igloo. It is not one of the great sport of hockey's last great temples, and it never will be in our lifetime. Which is why we are delighted to find out that there are folks like us out there that want to see to it that the Civic (and later, the Mellon) Arena remains intact and becomes a historical site in our city. And, unlike us, these people are architects.

A local architect today took his battle to save Mellon Arena from the wrecking ball to its owner, the city-Allegheny County Sports & Exhibition Authority.

Rob Pfaffmann urged the SEA board to allow for a full public dialogue on the future of the arena, including his plan to salvage the 48-year-old landmark and transform it into a community ice skating rink along with shops, entertainment, and restaurants similar to Chicago's Millenium Park. He also would reconnect Wylie Avenue in the Hill District with Downtown as a pedestrian greenway.

Mr. Pfaffmann, a Downtown architect, said the team may be able to secure historic tax credits for the development. He also feels it is more cost effective to work with the existing infrastructure than to tear it up and start anew.

Chicago's Millenium Park (click for a bigger one):

In case you were wondering, yes, those are gardens on the roofs of some of those buildings. That's a tag team effort in garnering Rustbelt's support. Tell me that wouldn't be an epic win for the old girl, who has seen too many amazing memories over the years to be simply torn down.

Mustache rides

2009-11-18T13:20:00.003-05:00

"I want to grow a mustache," you say, "but I don't know what style to shave it into." Well, lucky for you, Maxim has created a flowchart to assist in that very important decision:

As always, click the image to make it bigger. Damn blog format...

Here to help? Nah, I'm just here to gloat

2009-11-18T10:48:00.006-05:00

Pittsburgh's Allegheny County offers Cuyahoga some lessons in reform

It appears that our sworn enemy, Cleveland, has come to us in peace, asking us for advice on how to make local government more efficient and industry corridors appear out of thin - albeit previously polluted - air. With this news comes yet another win for Pittsburgh.

Look, when Pittsburgh decided to collectively get its shit together, we were too busy learning how to parallel park and unsuccessfully trying to score with Oakland Catholic girls. So we are in no way part of this city's renaissance in that right, but we're at least basking in it now.

Nonetheless, our everlasting hostility towards all things Cleveland, our birthright, knows no bounds. It is not simply restricted to football franchises and no longer is maintained within the confines of Heinz Field and wherever the Browns play their games these days. You've got to take these opportunities to kick 'em while they're down when you can.

We do remain civil to ex-pats such as our very own Matt, though.

h/t Pop City

Late Night Video Club

2009-11-17T20:58:00.004-05:00

Glen Hansard and Mic Christopher - You Ain't Goin' Nowhere

If you've never had a chance to go see Glen Hansard and The Frames... do so as soon as possible. They are rock. Unfortunately seeing Mic is not possible, but his music lives on. Enjoy these busking Irishmen.

Hockey Blog Outsourcing 2.0

2009-11-17T18:01:00.002-05:00

Let us take a moment and reflect on some of the news and notes from around Rustbelt's favorite league:

Pittsburgh Penguins lose player number 437 to injury this season:
Jesus tap dancing Christ how many more players can we possibly lose?!? Alex "GoGo" Goligoski is down two to three weeks with an undisclosed injury. Seriously Pens stop trying to make your Cup Defense 09-10 so goddamn difficult. The good news is at least our Russian sex machine is back and ready to rock.

Letestu sent packing back to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton:
Most of you will look at that headline and wonder who in the great blue balls is Mark Letestu. Well fret not you won't have to worry about who he is anytime soon. He spent a bit of time with the big club, only to be scratched in favor of tRBT whipping boy Chris Bourque (dick).

Shanny calls it quits:
Brendan Shanahan has decided that after 21 years of scoring goals and spending time in the penalty box he is going to hang up his skates. Shanny retires at number 11 in career goals and is the only player to have over 600 goals and 2,000 penalty minutes. In fact he has spent nearly 42 hours in a penalty box over the course of his career. So long good sir.

Superstar will be burying pucks come Thursday:
Instead of burying his face into the chest of that dirty yinzer chick behind the counter at A&L motors. Seriously Max... Go re-do that new commercial... it sucks harder than Michel Ouellet. But in all seriousness we heard he "may" return and immediately crossed out fingers and began saying "please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please."

That's all for now. Yes that was mainly Pens news, but what the hell did you expect when you came to a blog that is so hardcore for all things Pittsburgh? Now go do something productive with your existance... We sure as hell aren't.

What happens when you mix Viagra and cell phones

2009-11-17T17:45:00.002-05:00

This.

For the readers of this blog who are too lazy to click let me paint you a picture...

"If you're sitting in a restaurant waiting for your food, you can just talk dirty to someone, and no one knows what you're doing," Jill says, in a slow Southern drawl. "I would rather talk on the phone. But I'm also comfortable with hiding behind texting if I want to say something dirty."

Sounds kind of sexy... Right? Now imagine that Jill is in fact a 50 year old woman. Brace yourselves youthful readers of tRbt: Your parents are sexting.

Yes the recent fad of sending sexually explicit text, or even picture messages has found its way to the AARP card holding members of this fair country. No longer are pre-teen children being kicked out of schools for sending naked pictures of one another. Now it seems your mom is sending a nice photo to dad while he is out at some conference in Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

So next time you send that message to your significant other wondering what she is wearing think for a minute... Could your significant other's parents be doing the same thing?

Prepare to die

2009-11-17T15:58:00.007-05:00

Well, it looks like CERN went ahead and fixed their Big Bang machine, or as we like to call it, the black hole-generator/earth-destroyer. This means sooner or later they're going to be back to their usual antics of firing high-speed particles at each other with a big-ass piece of equipment.

Which, in our opinion, would have made one hell of a science project in grade school. While Timmy is busy bringing in his stupid volcano and Suzie is showing off the candy solar system her parents put together, me and Josh are setting up our Large Hadron Collider. Pick us first in gym class, or die via black hole. Your move.

Five things that really suck right now

2009-11-16T15:20:00.008-05:00

This is not a Keith Olbermann rip-off (and even if it was, he's not really legitimate enough to matter), but rather a list of the five things we currently feel are either severely overrated or just god-awful and should be avoided by anyone who values their conscience.

5. Sarah Palin's return to the national spotlight

Only in a country obsessed with Jon and Kate could someone like Sarah Palin excel at attracting legitimate attention. Why we are all still talking about her is beyond me; her post-campaign life has resembled that of a trashy reality television show on CMT. But yet we enable her horrendous remarks about ridiculous conspiracy theories and death panels by giving her more attention. Jesus...

4. Weezer's Raditude

Part of the joy of listening to Weezer over the years has been wondering just how weird frontman Rivers Cuomo is, and if he ever is going to grow up. You learn on Raditide that he is not only pretty weird, but also a massive attention whore who probably was a flash in the pan lyrically, and in fact is not ever going to grow up. Terrible commercialized half-assed effort.

3. The Apocalypse

I don't care about the Mayans, I don't care about the guy who held the boom box up and played that Peter Gabriel song in that 80's movie, I don't care. I feel like I'm back in high school trying to trip the kid who was walking down the hall with an armful of the Left Behind books.

2. Fox News

This one might be mainstay on this list, but with their recent purging of YouTube clips featuring their programs (and targeting the ones published by progressives) as well as Shep Smith's awkward and forced apology regarding his complaint about balance, Fox News is looking pretty damn douchey right now.

1. Where the Wild Things Are (film)

Before this movie came out, I was pondering who or what was more overrated than writer Dave Eggers. I discovered it while watching this movie - the answer is a cooperative effort between Dave Eggers and fellow overrated person Spike Jonze. The moral of Sendak's genius book gets lost in this mopey, emo bitchfest that tries way too hard to say "fuck you" to whatever you hoped the movie would be and instead strives to be the least interesting story ever told by anyone ever. The visuals are great, but so are the visuals from a mushroom trip, and at least the latter doesn't tackle you to the ground and take a dump on your dreams.

Kids these days

2009-11-16T12:19:00.004-05:00

Don't think we're giving CNN props whatsoever, because we're not. We're not giving that American Morning douche props either, because he sucks massively. We can't stress how much we hate CNN.

That being said, this was the first interview we could find with this kid who won't pledge allegiance to the flag because gays can't get married, and he just rocks. He gets a Rustbelt star of the day for being smarter than most people. What a badass.

This week in places where people are starving

2009-11-16T11:36:00.005-05:00

Click the image to view it a little larger. This map represents the world in relation to food consumption. The places where food consumption is higher than normal are proportionally swollen, and the places where it is lower are shrunken:

Surprise! We eat a lot, and Africans don't. Now go enjoy your lunch, fatass.

Hip Hop Friday

2009-11-13T15:19:00.002-05:00

Ozomatli - Cut Chemist Suite
Because you heard this song in high school, and you thought it was legit. Admit it.

Suck it, Earth

2009-11-13T14:08:00.003-05:00

Yeah, you heard me. With your stupid oceans and your dumb atmosphere. You can take all your fuzzy animals and and trees and gravity and ozone and stick them right up your rapidly-disappearing-but-still-rather-icy ass, you big blue bitch.

Oh, you think I'll take this all back? Think in the end, we'll need you? You think John Cusack and Roland Emmerich are gonna scare me? Well, they're not, and you're not; you know why? Because NASA found water on the Moon. Shazam!

The confirmation of scientists’ suspicions is welcome news both to future explorers who might set up home on the lunar surface and to scientists who hope that the water, in the form of ice accumulated over billions of years, could hold a record of the solar system’s history.

The satellite, known as Lcross (pronounced L-cross), slammed into a crater near the Moon’s south pole a month ago. The impact carved out a hole 60- to 100-feet wide and kicked up at least 24 gallons of water.

So you just keep on heating up and giving us that back talk with all your hurricanes and earthquakes and bad shit happening, and we're liable to up and leave you. Hell, I'll be the first volunteer to go up to the moon.

Or, you know, we could rename it Eagle Freedom Jesus Land and hope the Tea Party folks take the bait.

Now yinz know what to get us for Christmas

2009-11-13T13:46:00.002-05:00

From some random website we accidentally stumbled upon during our hourly Facebook creep:

"Whether you prefer chardonnay or merlot, this is the wine glass you need. You can savor the flavor all night long as this glass can hold up to a full bottle of your favorite fruit of the vine. It's just the thing for a cozy night in."

Now why didn't we think of that? It's not like we don't drink a bottle (or 6) in one sitting, anyways.

Favorite non-Steeler. Ever.

2009-11-12T11:26:00.004-05:00

The Steelers are a perfect organization; they have balance in all facets of the game, and are time-tested to be a winner every year. Anyone who thinks that the team isn't a football dynasty is either kidding themselves or praying to their Brady Quinn poster for a monster comeback.

With all the talks of Larry Johnson bitching about wanting to become a Steeler, we thought it would be appropriate to say that Rustbelt does not support the idea of LJ coming to the 'Burg. We do, however, wish there was some way to acquire Jared Allen, because, as you see in the video below, he very well might be the coolest dude ever:

Dear Rooney fam, let's get on this.

Chalk another one up for the 412

2009-11-12T10:30:00.006-05:00

Now, as our five consistent readers will know, nothing gets the folks at tRBT more turned on than Pittsburgh getting national exposure. Our love for Pittsburgh is an evangelical love; all we want to do is spread it like Christianity and herpes to the rest of the world, and we like to think that we do it as often(at least more often than we do with the herpes - talk about a dry spell) as possible.

This is why we are proud to present you with the news that our mayor, Luke Ravenstahl, has been selected as one of the potential candidates for TIME Magazine's "Person of the Year" award.

Part history, part pop culture, part self-promotion, the magazine has sparked anticipation and debate for decades with its designation of the person or thing -- the computer made it in 1982 -- deemed to have had the most influence on the year's news,
Fresh from his re-election victory, Mayor Luke Ravenstahl has been selected by Time for a panel that will meet tonight in New York City as part of the magazine's selection process for this year's designee.

That's right. Get used to seeing this, bitches:

Come to think of it, why hasn't Snoop gotten this award yet, especially for his pivotal role in Half Baked?

But for real, you know and we know that you know a guy like that.

This week in pwning Glenn Beck

2009-11-10T10:09:00.004-05:00

Click the image to view it bigger, and thus read it. h/t HuffPo

Click here to read the story that explains the arbitration Beck just lost, but the Reader's Digest version is that a satirical website mocking his logic was set up, Beck wanted it removed, filed suit and lost. The guy who started the site wrote the letter above to Beck after the case.

No word yet on when he's going to address the recent aardvark scandal, though.

Not true

2009-11-10T09:55:00.005-05:00

Study: Pittsburgh one of the safest metro areas for pedestrians

Seriously...did the people who conducted this study try and cross Grant Street or the Boulevard of the Allies while some HVAC guy in a truck with a customized "STILERZ" license plate is making an illegal turn whilst firing up his sixth Marlboro red and taking a swig of his Circle K coffee?

No, this has to be a joke.

This week in discouraging fucking news

2009-11-09T19:10:00.004-05:00

It appears that John Barbero, longtime voice of the one and only Igloo, is not doing so well. Barbero, a Roscoe native, is suffering from Astrocytoma: an inoperable brain tumor. We reported back in August that the Pens were looking for another announcer, and knew that Barbero was ill, but this didn't cross our minds.

We wish you well in your recovery John and hope to hear your voice ringing out again before they shut dahn the Civic Arena for good.

Rustbelt would also like to send out well wishes to Penguins president David Morehouse. Mr. Morehouse suffered a heart attack this morning as the Pens were preparing to leave San Jose for tomorrow night's game in Boston. We'd insert some joke about the play of the team here, but it just doesn't seem right with all this shitty news. Good news is the PG reports that Morehouse is resting comfortably and is expected to make a full recovery.

Sexy Racist Times: Military discrimination edition!

2009-11-09T16:19:00.004-05:00

No more Muslims in the military, argues asshole right-wing AFA director Bryan Fischer. No offense, he says, this isn't Muslim discrimination or anything, but since this one Muslim guy when balls-crazy and shot up a military base (this has happened before with non-Muslims), they should all no longer be eligible to serve their country the way infidels do.

It's time we all got over the nonsense that all cultures and religions are equally valid or worthy. They most certainly are not. While Christianity is a religion of peace, founded by the Prince of Peace, Islam is a religion of war and violence, founded by a man who routinely chopped the heads off his enemies, had sex with nine-year old girls, and made his wealth plundering merchant caravans.

And just as Christians are taught to imitate the life of Christ, so Muslims are taught to imitate the Prophet in all things. Yesterday, Nidal Malik Hasan was simply being a good Muslim.

You're so right, Bryan! Because good peace-loving Christians never, ever, ever are the bad guys! We just flit around like little Jesus-doves, never executing people like Mohammed did. Nothing like those savages.

The best part of this post has been saved for last; so we've placed an excerpt of its comments section below. Apparently, these people haven't been reading the Bible enough to get some basic spelling down:

Allowing Muslims in any place of leadership especially the military is insane! Islam is pollitcal worse then communisim.
I agree 100% with this article. They are barbarians and the sooner we label it as it is the sooner the public may GET it!!! Moslims are not fit to serve in the US Military in any branch for their loyalty is to a their brain washed religion of violence and kill the infidel....which is all of us. Send them back to where they came from and let them cut each other heads off.
It does my heart glad to read the responses to this story. I now have hope that there are some other, like myself, that know the dangers of Islam and are not drinking in the poison of "tolerance" My prayers will be that more will wake out of their drunkeness to stand up for truth, to know and confess what's right and what's wrong, what is good and what is evil.
It is about time we wake up and keep Muslum's out of the militaary, and watch them closely before more tragedies occur.
I would go further and say, Muslims should stay in their own country, where they could share their beliefs with fellow Muslims.

Does this scare the shit out of you?

Video mix of the day

2009-11-09T14:22:00.001-05:00

Quite possibly the best video/music mash we've ever seen.

Sunday Evening Bird-plosion

2009-11-08T20:45:00.002-05:00

Because every weekend should come to its close with creepy, ghoulish-looking clouds of birds:

Maturity

2009-11-07T23:18:00.002-05:00

Oh yeah: The bill passed. So that guy can suck it.

Hockey Blog Outsourcing

2009-11-07T12:24:00.003-05:00

I've been slacking... I know it and you know it. To make up for my lack of posting I present you with news from around the NHL, because hockey rocks and you know it.

Foppa to the Canucks?
It seems Peter Forsberg may not yet be done with the NHL. He has yet to play a game for MoDo, his Swedish Elite League club, and is in discussions with the Vancouver Canucks to hit the ice again. This may help a severely injured Canucks club, but the question remains can Foppa escape injury and actually play?

The Confluence faces everyone's favorite question: Why is Mike Yeo still coaching?!
The idea of someone else running the Pens' powerplay has been on the minds of fans for quite some time. Their recent short comings in that department have once again added fuel to the fire. I for one went back and forth on this, feeling that at least the penalty kill is great, but really it is time for a change. Put simply ewoks humping Al Roker's leg have more success.

Bucci gives us his ode to the hockey mask.
I know others have done this, but I have a giant man-crush on John Buccigross and his obsession with hockey. Gimme a break. Read his salute to 50 years of head protection for the men being peppered with vulcanized rubber. *Author's note: goalie's, while required to wear a helmet, do not have to wear a mask. Begin discussions of who is fucking crazy enough to complete said feat... my vote goes to Ray Emery.*

Deryk Engelland is playing for the big boys.
Engelland was called up for tonight's game against the San Jose Sharks. This news came shortly after coach Disco held Alex "GoGo" Goligoski out of practice. Goligoski seems a bit worn down and dinged up... Hopefully this is a short term assignment, and not a long term problem. GoGo has been a pleasant surprise and with Gonchar still out having him on the bench does not bode well. If he plays this will be Engelland's first NHL game.

Puck Daddy takes a look at the Blue Jackets' financial troubles.
This is shame. Columbus is an up and coming club with a solid roster and a pretty good market to back it. Puck Daddy shows the good that came to the area from adding a pro hockey team, but some changes need to be made to keep the team there. We fully support keeping the Jackets in C-Bus and hopefully the will stay.

Ok that's all for now. I've wasted enough of your time putting up articles you will ~~glance over~~ read voraciously. Enjoy.

Your weekend reminder that the future looks pretty stupid

2009-11-07T12:22:00.003-05:00

Virtual goods start bringing real paydays

Look, we're not saying that, on an evening when our decision-making has been clouded by PBR and shame, we haven't pondered the merits of purchasing something badass on Farmville when that virtual time-suck shamefully held us hostage for a few weeks. I for one, admittedly, have come very close on a few occasions to spending very real money on very not-real items. We all have our flaws, so piss off.

That being said, if you read the article we linked above, it will come to your attention that the international market forecast for virtual goods is to the tune of $5 billion. Virtual goods. Nonexistent. Does that blow your mind?

If this is any indication of where business is headed in terms of everyday commerce, we're going to chalk this up alongside Jon & Kate obsessions, Balloon Boy, Fox News ratings, The WWE, Dancing with the Stars, the Jonas Brothers and Lady GaGa as one of the many reasons why the present (and future) is looking awfully stupid.

Thank you Pitchfork

2009-11-06T21:26:00.003-05:00

A recent search of Sigur Ros' website, eighteen seconds before sunrise, has revealed fantastic news.

Pitchfork has decided to stream their documentary Heima for one week only. This 12 part documentary features the band in all their glory during the summer of 2007 crossing all parts of their native Iceland.

I for one own this documentary and must say that it is epic... IMDB users agree. Seriously, if you are even the smallest fan of Jonsi et al, take a break and watch this. The cinematography of Iceland itself is worth the time. You can choose certain chapers if you wish, but watching the whole thing is quite an experience.

It just went up today, so go watch it already dammit!

Hip Hop Friday

2009-11-06T14:08:00.004-05:00

Because there's a lot of bad news out there that we don't feel like talking about - here's a tune about robots and what's wrong with rap today to get you through this Friday and, if you're like us, to many many beers.

Lupe Fiasco - Daydream @ Daily Motion

Your daily dose of crazy

2009-11-05T16:21:00.003-05:00

Click here, here and here for updates on today's Super Bowl of Freedom.

Afterwards, you may want to drink yourself into a drooling, comatose state in order to forget that you live in a country this embarrassing. I mean come on: the Super Bowl of Freedom? This is all so mind-blowingly stupid and irrational, I truly have nothing at all to say about it, other than wow.

Complete tRBT highbrow smartass joking aside, the fact that these people were running around citing the Holocaust and Jewish banking conspiracies and terrorism is pretty finger-in-the-back-of-the-throat-after-a-bottle-of-Jack-Daniel's-and-a-40-of-Colt. 45 vomit-inducing.

A deserving honor

2009-11-05T13:07:00.003-05:00

New Sculpture honoring Fred Rogers, on the North Shore. h/t PG for the photo

Mr. Rogers was the absolute man, anyone who thinks otherwise is lying to themselves. In a world where stupid, idiotic, half-witted reality television dominates, it brings a tear to our eyes to think of the TV world without a cheery (albeit creepy sometimes), sweater-clad man crooning "Won't you be my neighbor?" to King Friday and company.

We are bummed that Dan Onorato used this event as a shameless plug for his gubernatorial run, but there's really nothing anyone can do about that. The man really wants to be the Guv, we guess.

In memory of Mr. Rogers, we'll be prank calling several people with this amazing soundboard.

Well it's about damn time, people

2009-11-05T11:01:00.003-05:00

Senate Dems move climate bill without GOP members present

Finally, Democrats have grown a pair. We elected you people into a SUPER FUCKING MAJORITY, gave you a Democratic President and put a shit ton more D's in the House, and you finally realize that you don't need support from the teabagging side. ONE YEAR AFTER WE DO THIS SUPER AWESOME FAVOR FOR YOU. Now all we need is for the President to own his shit and start regulating these bastards, and we're talkin'! But wait, we may have an internal problem:

In a Democrat-only vote, it was 10-1 in favor of reporting the bill, with Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont., the only "no."

Max Baucus. The man who is is responsible for the watered-down health care bill because he was too big of an insurance industry whore to get too into the public option. The man who was given $262,640 by electric utility companies and $585,000 from energy and natural gas companies. Wonder why he's not too privy on the strict emissions caps. Jesus.

Britain joins the White House's war on Fox News

2009-11-04T11:22:00.006-05:00

In a shocking parallel to military activity in the Middle East, Britain's Prime Minister Gordon Brown has blindly followed American leadership into yet another war; although this time with not as much imminent danger, so long as Sean Hannity's Hybrid Humvee isn't equipped with a roadside bomb.

Yes, Brown has become yet another leader of a government to criticize a Rupert Murdoch media outlet, this time going after The Sun, a British tabloid-quality news source that is more famous for exposing stories about furious ex-Beatles and their relationships than any actual journalism. But apparently, by supporting some bloke over there from the Conservative party, they did enough to piss PMGB off:

"I think the Sun tried to become a political party that day and that was a terrible mistake. And I suspect over time that their readers will think that, too."
Brown also said that media coverage has become increasingly personal: "I think that's a mistake, too. "Take my recent trip to America. I had meetings every day with Obama, about Iraq, Iran, the economy, global warming, Afghanistan, nuclear power...the journalists there knew what was happening and chose to report it differently. To call it a snub was wrong."

Unfortunately, most people in England are smarter and less batshit-paranoid-insane about their government, and thus sadly there has been little to no public reaction to Brown's comments. No tea parties, no town hall meetings, no awkwardly misspelled protest signs, no nothing.

This is probably the best Pens-themed animated .gif ever

2009-11-04T09:45:00.002-05:00

A pretty accurate depiction of what happens when you piss around in the Penguins' zone too long whilst Free Candy is patrolling the ice:

Tip of the hat to Pensblog

This week in keeping church and state not-so separated

2009-11-03T12:18:00.003-05:00

Click for a bigger image of this; apparently it was ordered to be given out to the faithful in light of the health care legislation going through:

Hmmm. "Thou shall not lie." So they're going to edit that part about abortions being taxpayer subsidized, right?

Headline juxtaposition

2009-11-03T11:57:00.001-05:00

Republicans boycott hearing on climate change bill

Snow Cap Vanishing Off Mt. Kilimanjaro

Huh. Imagine that.

Well that's just fucking wonderful, thanks

2009-11-03T10:29:00.003-05:00

15 city schools on chopping block: Study is a starting point for district to come up with its own plan

Because, you know, closing schools is the answer to everything. That is, if the question is how to increase gang violence, alienate children from an early age, indoctrinate people into never trusting their school board again, or how to get kids to stop coming to school altogether.

Does anyone else have the awful feeling that education is doomed?

Really, Huffington Post?

2009-11-03T10:08:00.003-05:00

Come on, guys. We have learned over time not to take HuffPo too seriously, particularly after the first Jon and Kate Gosselin story we saw on the front page. We then learned, sadly, that a good blog was becoming commercial as all hell (literally - what's up with all the ads these days?) and that nothing, in fact, was sacred anymore. Luckily we still have TPM to get us through the day without a pomegranate juice ad assault.

Back to HuffPo: listen people, calm down. We need folks like Arianna Huffington, the ones who kept their shit together the longest during the election last year and who have been level-headed and clear-eyed about new American liberalism to NOT buy in to the whole "Obama's the worst President 9 months into his presidency" bullshit.

Arianna's new editorial criticizes Obama's ability to govern, asking the reader what the "campaign Obama" would say to President Obama about not living up to some of his lofty idealogical promises. She says that David Plouffe, Obama's old campaign manager, should have called his book "The Timidicy to Govern," rather than "The Audacity to Win."

That's all fine and dandy, Ms. Huffington, but we've said it before and we'll say it again: you didn't help to get this man elected because he is some Politico-Jesus-robot that is going to come down and impale lobbyists and the "old boys" on the Hill with a spear made out of Paul Wellstone's crashed plane; you did it because he was the rational choice to get this country back on track OVER A FOUR YEAR PERIOD. Give the man a presidential term, and if he's still not living up to your excpectations (I'm sure you can give Sean Penn and Tom Hanks a call, go have a $300 dollar sushi dinner and discuss whether or not he is doing enough for the middle class) then vote him out.

But for now, shut up about what Obama is not doing, and think about what he is doing: trying to get this country out of a septic tank that is lined with eight years - not the nine months Obama's been in there - of pure, thick, Texas-brewed poo. So calm down, please.

Stay classy, anti-abortion people

2009-11-02T21:00:00.004-05:00

You've gotta love the supporters Scott Roeder, the guy who shot and killed famed late-term abortionist George Tiller. They figured it would be a nice fundraising tool to get together and sell anti-abortion propaganda, such as pictures depicting Tiller beheaded or a Bible with anti-abortionist passages highlighted.

However, what they didn't really get their Lord-softened brains around was that eBay might not exactly be privy to this notion. In fact, the internet auction site thought it was exactly what we think it is: pretty stupid.

After the Kansas City Star reported plans for the auctionlast week, eBay officials said they would "not allow listings that promote or glorify violence, hate, racial or religious intolerance, or items that encourage, promote, facilitate or instruct others to engage in illegal activity."

But the auction's organizers posted what they considered "less offensive" items -- a cookbook written by Shannon, a grisly drawing by Roeder's cell mate -- and managed to get the listing through eBay's filters. There had been one bid of $50 before the listing was shut down.

Classy, gentleman. Really classy. Glad we're all grown-ups here.

Does it scare the bejeesus out of anyone else that this was actually making money before it was shut down?

BE THE PUMPKIN!

2009-10-31T08:31:00.001-04:00

Happy Halloween... Dance and be merry.

Happy Halloween, you bastards

2009-10-30T16:23:00.001-04:00

Yes

2009-10-30T11:15:00.004-04:00

Notwithstanding our glorious sports teams and our one embarrassing one, the first thing that comes to mind when you think Pittsburgh is beer. A working class city with a football problem like the 'Burgh has always had a good, dedicated booze-swilling following for local brews like Rolling Rock (RIP), Penn Pilsner and "Ahrn" City.

Alongside and usually hand-in-hand with beer is another thing that Pittsburgh loves - its music. There is a profoundly dedicated following for local acts like the Clarks, Joe Grushecky and the crown jewel of Pittsburgh rock, Donnie Iris.

The thick-framed glasses-wearing Beaver native has been rocking for decades. Donnie is to Pittsburgh rock and roll what Reggie Jackson's home run against the light tower in the '71 All-Star game is to baseball: monumental. Even Donnie's name is Pittsburgh.

So when you combine the two, you get probably the most Pittsburgh thing known to man.

And, according to the Trib, it is going to be on sale soon.

I am physically preparing my body to be ready to take cases of this at a time upon its release. King Cool beer from the King of Cool himself. This is epic.

Stay classy, Vatican

2009-10-30T11:04:00.004-04:00

Vatican condemns Hallowe'en as anti-Christian

Ah, yes, because a holiday in which, as we mentioned earlier this week, children dress up like ghouls and get free candy and adults dress slutty and get trashed is such a blatant move by the devil to get us off of Jesus' side. Because these people take their minds off of the baby Jesus for one day to dress up like Frankenstein, we are all waiving our rights to paradise. No thanks, Vatican. Stop taking our lives so seriously. Then again, I guess that's what we pay you for. Sigh.

This week in discrediting 24-hour news networks

2009-10-30T10:26:00.003-04:00

We don't necessarily like putting back-to-back videos on here (call us a little obsessive compulsive, but this blog is our baby: back up, bitches), but this is an eleven-minute investment you really need to make right now.

Enter Jon Stewart, who is thankfully doing the work that the rest of these alleged media watchdogs and government skeptics are blatantly coming up short on. He tactfully points out in this clip the absurdities in this story that, by the end of this clip, will make you want to throw a chair out of the nearest window and just rage. Behold:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

For Fox Sake!

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

Woe to you, America, when you lose this man. If he takes Letterman's spot, I am going to kill myself.

This is a little uncomfortable

2009-10-29T17:14:00.004-04:00

You have to respect this man for reminding us all and, uncomfortably sometimes, his guests that he too has a conscience:

Apology accepted, Shep. What a man.

Like friggin' clockwork

2009-10-29T16:24:00.003-04:00

actual photo, sadly, from Greater Things. Don't click on that link.

Read this article - but if it gives you the spooks, know that it has nothing to do with the upcoming holiday that, according to that article you better have clicked on and read, is nothing but demonic soul-raping satanist lies.

No, according to wingnut and pseudo-holyman Pat Robertson's blog, the day that kids dress up and get free candy and adults dress up slutty and get shitfaced is a feast of the devil!

The word "holiday" means "holy day." But there is nothing holy about Halloween. The root word of Halloween is "hallow," which means "holy, consecrated and set apart for service." If this holiday is hallowed, whose service is it set apart for? The answer to that question is very easy—Lucifer's!
...
During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

What?!? My Almond Joys have been prayed over by witches before they reached my grocery store? Does Satan hang out down at the wholesalers?

This shouldn't actually suprise anyone, as the ultrareligious crazies have pretty much tried to get rid of everything fun; not just everything halloween-related. Other amenities include booze, Harry Potter, sex, art, other religions, stories about gay penguins, and actual fun.

I almost made it through an entire post without swearing

2009-10-23T10:21:00.009-04:00

Remember that douche with a bow tie from CNN's Crossfire? The guy that Jon Stewart decimated on the air, which resulted in the cancellation of the program and the mass exodus of its hosts to other 24-hour news networks?

His name is Tucker Carlson, and his straw man arguments against the left are - surprise! - inching toward the Ann Coulters of the world in recent days, primarily due to the fact that lately some White House staffers - who ironically, are liberal Democrats, I know, shocker - have been a bit critical of Fox News.

Tucker's take on the matter is a bit different. He thinks that, since Fox has a view slightly different than the White House's perspective, the Obama Administration is attempting to criticize and discredit them.

This is all, in minds similar to Tucker's, a blatant attempt to make an example out of Fox in order to shush any future dissent to Obama's agenda. It has nothing to do with Fox's credibility as a news organization, since the only people who claim it has any are beyond our - and certainly the White House's - help.

In his conclusion, Tucker issues a warning to those journalists who seem to be turning the other cheek to this unwarranted hostility from the White House:

Which is something the White House press corps ought to keep in mind as it stands by in silence while Fox is bullied: Your politics won’t save you. You’ll be next.

Unfortunately for Tucker, those who are standing in silence know that bullshit fear mongering and empty anti-progressive rhetoric might fly with Greta Von Susteren, but it is undoubtedly of no value to rational human beings looking for real news.

See I got some real problems...

2009-10-22T20:48:00.003-04:00

Like what to do tomorrow and the day after that.

Enter Patterson Hood, lead singer of Drive By Truckers. If you've heard the Truckers before we strongly endorse picking up Murdering Oscar (and other love songs). If you've never before heard this southern rock glory, go out and grab Decoration Day and Southern Rock Opera, both are clutch albums.

Hood's work on Murdering Oscar is far less intense than the songs written for Truckers. There is a intimacy in this work that is not found on the full band's albums. The album puts forth a very close setting, acoustic driven feel with dark, almost heart wrenching lyrics. Filled with steel guitar and Hood's raspy southern drawl even the country music haters (count this author among them) will enjoy this.

Find a nice preview of his work and an interview on NPR's World Cafe.

This is actually really good

2009-10-22T15:59:00.003-04:00

Thank you Eddy Spaghetti for finding this. This has to be the best "I'm on a Boat" parody to date.

This week in ballsy mayors

2009-10-22T14:11:00.003-04:00

This is a few weeks old, but according to multiple sources and reported in the City Paper, Pittsburgh's Boy Mayor had some choice words for his G20 critics at the ACLU - and he did it all ironically donning riot gear. This is genius:

It's not every day you hear about Mayor Luke Ravenstahl appearing in police riot gear, taunting the head of the local American Civil Liberties Union and dropping the f-bomb in front of the city's media elite.
...
Ravenstahl used his moment on stage to send a message to ACLU state legal director Vic Walczak, who has sharply criticized the city's handling of G-20 protesters. According to multiple sources, Ravenstahl said something like this: "I heard we're going to face a free-speech lawsuit. Well, I have some free speech for you -- fuck you, Vic Walczak."

What a beast. We knew there was a reason why we liked the guy. Go get 'em, Luke. Just be home before the streetlights come on, or Onorato's going to get all "goosey" on you.

Thank you, Sir:

2009-10-22T11:30:00.001-04:00

Fun times in Cleveland todayyyyyyy

2009-10-22T10:42:00.005-04:00

You know your city has a god-awful football team when a music magazine's political contributor writes an editorial about how miserable, abysmal and desolate the future of said football team is.

Such is the case of our friends over by the lake, the Cleveland Browns. Not only have they been sucking immensely since about the time the Pirates stopped winning, but in recent years they have squandered talent and have given sub-par quarterbacks starting gigs while wasting draft picks on other equally overrated quarterbacks. Matt Taibbi, one of our many man-crushes, had an interesting take on the Browns' woes, as well as their coaching choice - who he refers to as Augustus Gloop, the fat kid that drank all of the chocolate in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Jesus.

In its latest issue, the iconic music magazine stepped outside its usual arena with a harsh critique of Mangini, comparing him to Augustus Gloop, the fictional overeater in Roald Dahl's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and calling his short coaching tenure in Cleveland "a sort of Hurricane Andrew of football mismanagement."

Although it is not mentioned in this local news blurb, Taibbi also designates the Browns as "the most fucked franchise in all of sports right now."

The issue hits the newsstand October 29, but the constant berating of all Clevelanders, luckily, needs no release date.

Holy frakkin' shit

2009-10-21T16:48:00.003-04:00

Little needs to be said about this. I mean really guys, come on...

If you, like this author, are a fan of the Battlestar Galactica series (except for the STUPID fucking ending), then this will put your sausages in the skillet. In an attempt to promote their new two-hour movie Battlestar Galactica: The Plan, SyFy and Maxim teamed up to make Grace Park and Tricia Helfer to do their best porn star impersonations... Which they pull off well. Go here for more tasty goodness. So say we all.