And you got scared when the Dems took the House and Senate...

Behold, your new rulers of all:

Colonizing your house and your mom very, very soon.

Turns out while we were all too busy going about our business, fighting wars, using fossil fuels, writing great books and making sweet sweet whoopee...you know - being humans and everything, one mega-colony of ants decided that the time was right to do what Alexander the Great, Rome, Protestants and Dick Cheney could not accomplish: colonize the entire friggin' world.

Argentine ants (Linepithema humile) were once native to South America. But people have unintentionally introduced the ants to all continents except Antarctica

In Europe, one vast colony of Argentine ants is thought to stretch for 6,000km (3,700 miles) along the Mediterranean coast, while another in the US, known as the 'Californian large', extends over 900km (560 miles) along the coast of California. A third huge colony exists on the west coast of Japan.

So why shouldn't we be equipping ourselves with anteaters and really big shoes right now? Oh, that's right, because unlike humans, these little guys just want to be friends:

But whenever ants from the main European and Californian super-colonies and those from the largest colony in Japan came into contact, they acted as if they were old friends.

These ants rubbed antennae with one another and never became aggressive or tried to avoid one another.

In short, they acted as if they all belonged to the same colony, despite living on different continents separated by vast oceans.

Damn you, ants. Why are you so much cooler than we are?