Your federal tax dollars at work.

Okay, I get it, Michael fucking Jackson died and you're all bent out of shape about it because, like the rest of us, you have been concernedly freaked out by his behavior, his accused affinity for touching children and his overall plasticky whiteness, and now you're feeling guilty.

But he is dead; it has been confirmed by almost every network that, prior to Jackson's death, was covering real things.

So you'd think the orgasmic 24-carat-solid-gold-casket-themed climax during the media circle jerk yesterday would be enough to quell even the most ferocious feeding frenzy types. Between 24-hour CNN, FOX and MSNBC's coverage of the whole goddamn memorial including the stupid Palinesque rantings of Brooke Shields, it was a breath of fresh air to read actual news on our internet today.

But no. Yesterday, apparently, was not enough for Texas Representative Shelia Jackson Lee. Some of our elected betters are legitimately debating a resolution honoring Jackson on the House Floor today in Washington.

Her legislation, House Resolution 600, lists several charitable acts by Michael Jackson over his long career and proclaims him as an American legend, musical icon and world humanitarian. He is, Jackson Lee said, "someone who will be honored forever and forever and forever and forever and forever."

Goddamn this country.