Godsmacked: Steve Doocy, classy as ever

There was something inherently funny about the story of Bible verses being secretly embedded on the ACOG scopes used on U.S. Military rifles. Some folks would cite the irony of having Bible quotes on a weapon, other P.C. bastards would lament the absence of congruent verses from the Talmud or the Qur'an. Some people in fact got pretty pissed about it.

Fox News' Steve Doocy had another message regarding the 'Jesus guns'. Like the child in detention who, through fits of anger and tears, appeals that the fight was started by the other kid, Doocy blames the unjust criticism of the news on the real child who started this fight: Muslims.

"My wife made a good observation yesterday when we were taking about this story, and that is, 'Hey, wait a minute, the Taliban and the extremists -- what is it they say just before they blow themselves up which kills somebody, they say, 'Allahu Akbar.'' So if anybody's making this a religious thing, they started it," Doocy said.

Hmm...combat exttremism with extremism! I think your wife is onto something, Steve. They started the whole fundamentalist-religious-nutbag thing; we're just following suit. In fact, let's start doing this with all the things that the Arabs started - like algebra. Maybe if you worked on polynomial circles a little more and spent less time at the Fox studio, you would look less like the massive fucking douchebag that you are.

Blog Outsourcing...3.0? It's been a while

Hark! It appears God's opinion is quite similar to my own.
Turns out people like the idea that their own beliefs are conducive to the King of Kings' - but according to a new study, it actually just makes religion an echo chamber of sort for someone's already established opinion - no matter how wrong that opinion may be. It's good to know that, like myself, God wants all those gays to quit wanting to get all married and shit. That does feel good.

Pearl Harbor happened today, 1941.
Clicking the above link will direct you to the story of the "mystery submarine" that also allegedly participated in the siege on the U.S. Naval base. No comments were submitted from the local chapter of the "Pearl Harbor Truthers."

Those attention whores from the State Dinner aren't the first to breach Secret Service.
No, it appears that over the span of twenty-odd years, 91 security breaches have been reported by officials. That's not even counting the time we made it halfway onto the White House lawn dressed as giant pretzels during the Bush II years. 92, bitches.

The timetable for Afghanistan is, like, flexible and stuff.
Debacle: [dey-bah-kuhl, -bak-uhl, duh-]
- noun

1.	a general breakup or dispersion; sudden downfall or rout.

2.	a complete collapse or failure.

3.	a breaking up of ice in a river.

4.	a violent rush of waters or ice.

See Also: Clusterfuck, shitstorm, quagmire, failure, Iraq

The Tea Party replacing the GOP? Survey says yes.
So apparently, among voters of the FREEDOM NO TAXES JESUS CAMOUFLAGE GOD NO ABORTION EAGLE PATRIOT OLD GLORY NO MUSLIMS APPLE PIE persuasion, the Tea Party is the political affiliation they would like to be identified with, not the Republican Party. This is just getting more and more fucking embarrassing.

President Obama is going to be late to the Copenhagen climate talks
No doubt this is because he knows climate change is bullshit. He just wants to attend the finale of the talks to see if Italy's bringing cannolis again.

God wanted me to post this

Next time you commit an enormous blunder like, I don't know, being an adulterous asshole and then lying about where you are going and then getting caught in a torrid love affair with a steamy Argentinian woman - then getting called out about using public funds for private expenses - simply know that when all else fails and your back is against the ropes, you can always use God as leverage.

As part of a fresh round of interviews designed to help save his job, South Carolina governor Mark Sanford suggested a higher power wants him to remain in office, and called his now legendary Appalachian Trail deception "a little white lie".

...

"I feel absolutely committed to the cause, to what God wanted me to do with my life," Sanford told the Washington Times. "I have got this blessing of being engaged in a fight for liberty, which is constantly being threatened."

So God wants you to carry on, wayward son. Makes sense. God has allegedly told alot of people to do a lot of ridiculous things during his tenure as Omnipotent Ruler of All, and the one common denominator is that all of these recipients of his message tend to be batshit insane. Why is that, "Money" Mark?

On another note, I wonder: How does God feel about all of this? Don't you think he's up there going, "Jesus! No, not you, son, I'm just saying, these stupid bastards keep citing me as a shameless excuse for all of the moronic and awful things that they do, and it's getting a little ri-Me-damn-diculous. I'm getting blamed for more things than the Jews! Come on, lighten up over there, Moses. Don't look at me like that."