Sam Brownback says fuck you Pan!

You little human-goat-thing. Nobody likes you!

This is what happens when you have a group of crazies who are no longer in the majority that are so far to the right that they don't even want to tell people they are in the Senate anymore, and they're getting bored. They start writing legislation, and the legislation starts getting pretty friggin' weird.

Take Sammy's last little gem he authored on Friday: the Human-Animal Prohibition Act of 2009. This legal masterpiece prevents science from creating some kind of human-animal hybrid; so if you're a mermaid and you're reading this right now, you are illegal. Piss off.

Okay, now that we are merpeople-free, let's continue. From Sam's blog comes some sort of explanation:

This legislation works to ensure that our society recognizes the dignity and sacredness of human life. Creating human-animal hybrids, which permanently alter the genetic makeup of an organism, will challenge the very definition of what it means to be human and is a violation of human dignity and a grave injustice.

My background is in agriculture, and for a number of years we have been working with crops and animals to produce a superior soy bean, a superior cow, and so-on. We can genetically engineer safe products and herds that are disease resistant or that possess more desirable attributes. But doing this in plants and livestock is very different than doing this in humans.

Damn. Well, looks like creating Ender-like beings are off the table. Son of a bitch!

The Money Shot

British scientists claim to create human sperm

Hear that? That's the sound of Satan and George Tiller high-fiving.

The technique could in 10 years allow researchers to use the basic knowledge of how sperm develop to design treatments to enable infertile men the chance to have biological children, said lead researcher Karim Nayernia, of Newcastle University, whose team earlier produced baby mice from sperm derived in a similar way.

Or it could be used to create Ender-like super genius soldiers. Think stormtroopers with brains, and the only thing they want to do is kill you and your parents. That's what I think really is going to go down.

But, in the meantime, I guess using this stuff to make babies as well as cells for the brain, pancreas, heart and blood vessels would suffice for now. For some of us rational folks, anyways.