Thursday, January 21, 2010
Fox News' Steve Doocy had another message regarding the 'Jesus guns'. Like the child in detention who, through fits of anger and tears, appeals that the fight was started by the other kid, Doocy blames the unjust criticism of the news on the real child who started this fight: Muslims.
"My wife made a good observation yesterday when we were taking about this story, and that is, 'Hey, wait a minute, the Taliban and the extremists -- what is it they say just before they blow themselves up which kills somebody, they say, 'Allahu Akbar.'' So if anybody's making this a religious thing, they started it," Doocy said.Hmm...combat exttremism with extremism! I think your wife is onto something, Steve. They started the whole fundamentalist-religious-nutbag thing; we're just following suit. In fact, let's start doing this with all the things that the Arabs started - like algebra. Maybe if you worked on polynomial circles a little more and spent less time at the Fox studio, you would look less like the massive fucking douchebag that you are.
You know, Josh and I were really beginning to enjoy our brief sabbatical from the blogging world. We've been swamped at work, booze-drenched on the weekends and overall too disgruntled with the very news we were perusing each day for inspiration to jot down one word of any real weight on this thing (which of course would be one word more than anything else on here that's worth a damn).
In retrospect, we missed golden opportunities time after time to post poignant, shrewd remarks about current events, which seemed to get stranger each day of this new decade:
- We allowed Mark McGwire to get off scott-free, without even a "lick my taint" tag from Rustbelt (we've got you now, Markie - see below - oh yeah, and fuck you).
- We didn't contribute, for obvious reasons, to the media shitstorm and profiteering from the terrible tragedy in Haiti. Hell, we let Pat Robertson blame a pact with Satan on that earthquake - without even a "lick my taint" tag for him either! (done and done - oh yeah, fuck you too, Pat Robertson).
- I think an election upset happened, too...we'll let the pros cover this one.
- We didn't get the opportunity to proclaim loudly to our five readers (if they're even still around) that we are, in fact, with Coco, something that among all of these missed opportunities I am actually truly sorry for. Our hatred for NBC in reaction to them closing down the big screen outside of the Igloo will be duly sustained for years to come . Or until we cave and watch 30 Rock.
But it was not the events above, dear reader, that got us out of the Fortress of Solitude we were hunkered down inside somewhere in the Yukon. All appropriate enough to bring an exile's return, it would take more to get two lazy bloggers off of their asses, into clean clothes and out of our fuzzy obscurity that has been 2010. And John Edwards did it for us, in more ways than one.
What a guy. Now that I have gotten to what I had initially wanted to comment on, it has a degree of frivolity to it that almost seems silly to go on. The bastard cheated on his wife multiple times, who at the time was being treated for cancer. That alone is reason enough to never regard John Edwards as a good guy for the rest of his nice haircut-sporting life. But, after all of that, to resurface in the news nearly two years later with the confirmation that you have a love child? Wow.
This is a guy that really had a free ride into his second consecutive campaign as a candidate for Vice-President of the United States. He was a fulcrum in the midst of the see-saw of death and bodily fluids that was the Obama-Clinton primary. Through the debates he emitted that squeaky-clean, Southern Democrat, safe-bet-for-a-VP aura. But it turned out he was not only a big enough douche to cheat on his wife, but a big enough moron to get one of those lucky ladies pregnant. What an unbelievable piece of shit.
At least, amidst all of the other bad shit happening, Edward's admission of his wrongdoing is helping make this decade a success: by starting off with your standards exceedingly low, we certainly are not destined for disappointment in the roaring 'teens. Not the way we're going.
That's actually the exact mind-state we have been in regarding the blog.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Rustbelt would like to extend our congrats to the USA World Juniors Champions. This team of
Also if you haven't seen this yet, take a look... Nothing like pubescent screaming after winning gold:
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Yes, folks, you read that correctly. In a bold move from his old post at Isengard, Saruman the White is now singing songs about shedding the blood of the Saxons. Metal!
Hey, that kinda looks like Ryan
h/t Gamma Squad
No, it is sports that has our attention at the very moment. And you know what else? The fact that we are in Great Depression 2.0, and amidst all of the job seekers and college grads out pounding the pavement looking for gainful employment, Ron Cook is still permitted churn out the worst sports columns in the history of man.
Not only are they generally boring, but his columns insult Pittsburgh sports fans with highbrow dickheadedness you should only be able to find at this very blog and from the lips of Mark Madden. He wrote one a few weeks ago slamming hockey fans for getting energized about a fight rather than a big win. He constantly berates Steelers fans, incessantly touting his supreme knowledge of the game over us common folk's desire to see a good football team and a good batch of coaches (a pun in there for Josh) hit the field. He repeated this offense today, in defense of Bruce Arians.
Wrong, bitch. Rather than forget, we remember than Ben was in charge during that last scoring drive in the Big Dance last year. That's why Roethlisberger has such a hard-on for papa Arians, because he lets the beefcake QB call sixty percent of the plays. It's Ben who is keeping that offense in sync, not Arians.
But it doesn't matter what else we type here. It doesn't mater that Arians probably deserves getting fired, doesn't matter that Steelers fans are mad as hell about all of this. The fact is, at the end of the day, Ron Cook is still going to have a job writing a shitty sports column for a decent newspaper, and we're still going to claim to know all there is to know about the great sport of American football. Life goes on, I guess. But we're so goddamn mad at this bastard!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
For the former, we have an idea:
Anyway... Batch has been a part of this team since 2002. He has been around since the days of Kordell Stewart and Tommy Maddox. Last we checked Slash is going to be working for that joke of a football league, the UFL and Maddox is... well who the hell knows.
He took Ben under his wing just as much as Bettis took Willie Parker under his, and if you don't think he has been doing the same with Dixon than you can kindly go piss up a rope. He has seen the different systems run in this town, and the man knows how to break it down for young, doe-eyed ball chuckers.
We will watch as this situation unfolds, but for now Rustbelt is officially casting its vote for Charlie Batch as the new quarterbacks coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers... You listening Art Rooney 2?!
This has only been reported on Pittsburgh's local ESPN radio station, so let's not get our hopes up just yet. However, this would be an epic win for Steelers fans if true. Everyone knows that our smashmouth style of play has been tainted with Arians' shoddy playcalling and belief that you don't need a fullback to run the ball (turns out you do).
Seriously, fuck him.
They tell me in that blur that was the first weekend of "the year before the year before the Mayan Apocalypse" that the Steelers won, but were eliminated from the playoffs amid other teams' key wins or losses. That saddened me at the time, from what I remember, and the knowledge is presently doing so yet again.
So, in a way to sort-of get over the fact that football season is over in our great city, we glanced at the list of Steelers who are up for free agency, and compiled a list of who we think should stay, who we think should go, and who we think should be kicked down that random hole in Sparta.
Here is the list of the prominent Steelers who, pending negotiations, are up for Free Agency: Tyrone Carter, Ryan Clark, Casey Hampton, William Gay, Travis Kirschke, Willie Parker, Jeff Reed, Daniel Sepulveda, Willie Colon and DeShea Townsend. Some of our commentary below is cross-posted from a reply I made to friend of the blog's Champsburgh, a blog you should be checking out because they're smarter than you. Okay, off we go:
- Let Tyrone Carter go. He is turning 34 this year and is in the twilight of his career. We can nab another cornerback in free agency, if need be. Truth be told, we better be drafting another cornerback in the first few rounds anyways, because I think Ike Taylor's flash in the pan years are about over.
- Willie Gay should stick around. His poor performance this year may actually help in contract talks. Remember how rocky Troy Polamalu's start in this league was? Gay is 24 and, with a push, has the potential to light things up in the secondary.
- Ryan Clark should be re-signed because of how cohesive he and Troy make the defense. He was frustrated and made some stupid comments this year; but who could replace him? I would like to see him make more plays when the ball is in the air, rather than just laying big hits on a receiver who has already made a catch. Still, letting Clark go would be high-risk, low-reward immediately.
- Peace out, Jeff Reed. He's old and I don't think necessarily reformed in his ways. Don't expect the Rooneys to offer him an extension, and don't expect us to care. We see him taking a job working with Joe Francis, traveling around to college towns and creeping out underage girls.
- Sepulveda needs to stay. So long as our special teams collectively gets its shit together, Sepulveda's punts have been a breath of fresh air next to those lobs that Berger used to put up last year. Danny is clutch, and can kick the ball and hit if called to action.
- So long, Deshea. He'll be 35 next season, and I don't really know what he could do to remedy the Steelers' pass defense. Actually, Deshea should retire. I would rather see DeWayne Washington back in the secondary than see Deshea back there. He has a great attitude and pretty good vision, but is pretty worthless in most coverage packages. In being a defensive back, you need to be a) young or b) fast as all hell. Deshea Townshend is neither of these things.
- I wish we could fire Willie Colon. I would rather take my chances drafting an O-line man and starting him as a rookie, but knowing the Rooneys' forgiving stance on linemen, I see Colon sticking around. He could be replaced, though, and is most definitely the weakest link on that line. He is the Rico Fata of that Offensive Line, next to Max Starks' Ryan Whitney.
- I would like to see Willie Parker offered a contract, and I see the Rooneys doing so. Unfortunately, based on Rashard showing flashes of LT this season, Parker is going to have to take a pay cut to stick around, something that is improbable when dealing with a running back with two Super Bowl rings. Parker has been frustrated with the Bruce Arians offense (as we all have - oh yeah, FIRE ARIANS) and I can see him leaving. Sad, because Parker is a good guy and a dependably speedy running back.
- Hampton is another player that I would like to see re-signed but will probably be cut loose. The Steelers have not liked his volatile weight issues, and his playing style is a little extreme. He is always on the verge of an injury. But guess what? The man is still a beast and is going to the Pro Bowl this year. I say sign Hampton, especially in light of other defensive woes.
- I like Travis Kirschke, but the man is 35. He is always hurt, and his on-again, off-again status is affecting would-be replacements. I would like to see our drafted D linemen (like Ziggy Hood) get polished. I respect veteran players, but in a position like the D line, we need a young guy to match the veterans in Kiesel, Smith and Hampton. Let Kirschke go.
That is all for now. We will be returning (as well as with quasi-regular posting again) with a 2.0 feature regarding potential draft picks. Until then, thank you for toughing it out on this long ass post. Go Pens.