Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Muppets rock

The Muppets do Queen, and do it well:

Pretty good, Henson Studios. Pretty good. I'm thinking next time, they could do a Fraggle Rock version of DragonForce's Through the Fire and Flames. How sick nasty would that be?

That's no moon. It's the best website ever made.

Thank you, Al Gore. Surely it is not what you had planned when you invented the internet, but Wookieepedia represents the internet's epic triumph of nerdery nonetheless. With amenities like the "Featured Article" (this week being Jedi Padawan Windo "Warble" Nend) and a Random Article link, this is officially our favorite thing on the internet right now.

Come on, like you didn't want to know what Han Solo was up to growing up and becoming awesome. Shazam! Now you know.

Haven't you lost sleep over whether or not C-3P0 was gay? Well I have; and although that question remains unanswered, we learn that Threepio not only was the leader of a robot rebellion at one time, but he friggin' dies:

Ever wonder what a Mandalorian civil war looks like? Now you know:

Finally, we would like to put a clause in our "Wikipedia should never be used for actual information" rule on Rustbelt. Yes, Wikipedia can only be used for humor's sake or to get a point across (like hyperlinking Iraq when talking about mistakes), but Wookieepedia is a valid internet source and should - and will - be treated as such.

This week in historical inaccuracies

Look, no one is perfect. Everyone's mixed up history at least once or twice, so we're not saying former Bush White House Press Secretary Dana Perino is incompetent. But wow.

Perino is a contributor to the pants-shitting going on in the media about whether Fort Hood was a terrorist attack or not and whether or not that matters (it doesn't). She went on Fox News recently (shocker) to talk about it, and went on to say Obama's refusal to dub the incident a terrorist attack is a political move.
"We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term," she told Sean Hannity. "I hope they're not looking at this politically. I do think that we owe it to the American people to call it what it is."
Ah, Dana must mean the second term, the term that she worked the last leg of, during that whole "yeah this country is balls-deep in problems but we're emotionally checked out" period. Because there was...well, forget it.

Hug a girl from the side, be a gangsta

We all know that nothing makes Jesus more mad than genitals touching, even through the protective barrier of clothing. It's science.

Thankfully, we have a way to address this issue - which undoubtedly has become the most pressing challenge the church faces in our time - of young people becoming oddly satisfied with being in an embrace with the front of someone else.

In fact, I am told, some young people do this without said clothing. I believe it is universally known as the "No-Pants Dance," but I am not sure. I give side hugs.

What's a side hug, you may ask? Well, it's only the greatest invention in the world. You see, people like me know that God would rather have us out spreading his word and giving handjobs to bananas rather than getting all hot and bothered in an embrace with some babe from our youth group.

And, luckily, there are people like me who are even more awesome. They're so awesome that they made this rap song, which is chock full of sick nasty beats and even comes to a gangsta violent ending all while spreading the holy message of the "Christian Side-Hug".

Which, come to think of it, could have just been called the side-hug, since no one has ever wanted to give anyone one of these before, ever. Or maybe the "happy birthday, Uncle Jerry, you're drunk" hug. I don't know.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Phrases you don't usually like seeing together

'Unusual event' reported at Beaver County nuclear plant

Apparently there is nothing to fear, as that is simply a classification for a situation not involving radiation leaks. Either way, sources at the plant say this worker, who is probably to blame for the incident, has been missing from the scene for quite some time:

I just blew a line of Lipitor to be safe

Angry young men risk heart attacks

This news hopefully does not come too late for Josh and me. Luckily, we nipped this in the bud a few years ago when we decided that drinking a bottle of whiskey was no longer going to be regarded as an option for how to spend an evening; however, as anyone who occasionally glances over some of our musings here knows, we tend to get a bit worked up over the little things.

The author, pictured above about 30 seconds after
the Twilight media blitz began

Given our blatant disregard of health as it is, frequent drunken rampages and affinity for Primanti's cappicola sandwiches - and paired with this article's finding that young men with anger issues and temper flares are three times more likely to develop heart disease - if we switch our diets to strictly vegan right now, we'll at least make it to around thirty. Huzzah!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Hip-Hop Friday

It's late, but still Friday in my eyes, so fuck you. Plus, I was waiting for the other one to dip out the other page; deal with it.

Danger Doom - The Mask ft. Ghostface Killah

Friday, November 20, 2009

Now we know how Vietnam feels about our newfangled search engines

100% virgin pulp?!

Daryl Metcalfe: keeping state politics pants-shittingly crazy

This only matters to our PA readers, so like, maybe three of you, but is interesting for all you other bohemians nonetheless.

It pains me to tell you that our favorite birther and Thomas Jefferson-misquoting state rep is now the chairman of the House Intergovernmental Affairs Committee.

Fortunately, nobody really knows what the fuck state government - let alone a lesser-known committee - does other than waste time, get bonuses and use state money for campaigns.

In light of this historic moment for the good Representative, we took a walk down memory lane to give you all some of our favorite moments of Metcalfe's stellar legislative career:
  • Opposed a resolution for "Domestic Abuse Awareness Month" in the state because the legislation noted males being abused as well, and thus according to Metcalfe was "promoting the homosexual agenda."
  • Called veterans who were campaigning for climate change "traitors to the oath he or she took to defend the Constitution of this great nation" for promoting a progressive agenda about the global warming.
  • Refused to support a resolution honoring 60 years of service to a Muslim group because, here's the kicker, "Muslims don't recognize Jesus Christ as God."
Good to know that a true patriot is in a leadership position in our great state. I feel that the Constitution, or at least the parts that allow me to keep an AR-15 in my house in case any immigrants get in, is truly being kept safe in the gentle hands of a good church-going man.

Mick Foley + The Daily Show = YES

You may recall a post we did on that very articulate young kid who is taking a stand for gay marriage. We gave you our take, and were anxiously awaiting Jon Stewart's take, because it was going to inevitably be funnier and all-around more intelligent than anything we could have strung together.

Thankfully, we were correct. And to top it off, Stewart brings back one of the great heroes of our time, the professional wrestler who at one point was the reason I used to take off my sock and force it into a friend's mouth and subsequently had no friends, Mick Foley, a.k.a. Dude Love, a.k.a. Mankind.

Stewart offers a pretty good security force to young William Philips, who has been called a "gay-wad" by his peers. Even this shit rag suggested - quite dichheadedly - that Philips learn how to fight; I guess they ran out of things to write about in defense of Oliver North and Richard Nixon. Don't even do them the dignity of clicking the above link.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Gaywatch - Peter Vadala & William Phillips
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Reason #9,867,417 why I am urging Canada to annex Michigan

Our favorite quote from the article above:
One supporter screamed, "Tea party!"
I mean, come on people, does our great union really look all that different without that cesspool of idiocy, shame and this?!

Think about it.

Oh holy sweet babies please let this happen

The Consol Energy Center is impressive, it really is. It dominates the view into downtown from the Hill District, greeting you with a booming "HELLO! HOCKEY!!" when driving down Centre Avenue. Even its construction time has been so atypical of the Pittsburgh-esque glacial-paced development trend we've grown accustomed to.

Either way, the Con is not the Igloo. It is not one of the great sport of hockey's last great temples, and it never will be in our lifetime. Which is why we are delighted to find out that there are folks like us out there that want to see to it that the Civic (and later, the Mellon) Arena remains intact and becomes a historical site in our city. And, unlike us, these people are architects.
A local architect today took his battle to save Mellon Arena from the wrecking ball to its owner, the city-Allegheny County Sports & Exhibition Authority.

Rob Pfaffmann urged the SEA board to allow for a full public dialogue on the future of the arena, including his plan to salvage the 48-year-old landmark and transform it into a community ice skating rink along with shops, entertainment, and restaurants similar to Chicago's Millenium Park. He also would reconnect Wylie Avenue in the Hill District with Downtown as a pedestrian greenway.

Mr. Pfaffmann, a Downtown architect, said the team may be able to secure historic tax credits for the development. He also feels it is more cost effective to work with the existing infrastructure than to tear it up and start anew.
Chicago's Millenium Park (click for a bigger one):

In case you were wondering, yes, those are gardens on the roofs of some of those buildings. That's a tag team effort in garnering Rustbelt's support. Tell me that wouldn't be an epic win for the old girl, who has seen too many amazing memories over the years to be simply torn down.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Mustache rides

"I want to grow a mustache," you say, "but I don't know what style to shave it into." Well, lucky for you, Maxim has created a flowchart to assist in that very important decision:

As always, click the image to make it bigger. Damn blog format...

Here to help? Nah, I'm just here to gloat

Pittsburgh's Allegheny County offers Cuyahoga some lessons in reform

It appears that our sworn enemy, Cleveland, has come to us in peace, asking us for advice on how to make local government more efficient and industry corridors appear out of thin - albeit previously polluted - air. With this news comes yet another win for Pittsburgh.

Look, when Pittsburgh decided to collectively get its shit together, we were too busy learning how to parallel park and unsuccessfully trying to score with Oakland Catholic girls. So we are in no way part of this city's renaissance in that right, but we're at least basking in it now.

Nonetheless, our everlasting hostility towards all things Cleveland, our birthright, knows no bounds. It is not simply restricted to football franchises and no longer is maintained within the confines of Heinz Field and wherever the Browns play their games these days. You've got to take these opportunities to kick 'em while they're down when you can.

We do remain civil to ex-pats such as our very own Matt, though.

h/t Pop City

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Late Night Video Club

Glen Hansard and Mic Christopher - You Ain't Goin' Nowhere

If you've never had a chance to go see Glen Hansard and The Frames... do so as soon as possible. They are rock. Unfortunately seeing Mic is not possible, but his music lives on. Enjoy these busking Irishmen.

Hockey Blog Outsourcing 2.0

Let us take a moment and reflect on some of the news and notes from around Rustbelt's favorite league:

Pittsburgh Penguins lose player number 437 to injury this season:
Jesus tap dancing Christ how many more players can we possibly lose?!? Alex "GoGo" Goligoski is down two to three weeks with an undisclosed injury. Seriously Pens stop trying to make your Cup Defense 09-10 so goddamn difficult. The good news is at least our Russian sex machine is back and ready to rock.

Letestu sent packing back to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton:
Most of you will look at that headline and wonder who in the great blue balls is Mark Letestu. Well fret not you won't have to worry about who he is anytime soon. He spent a bit of time with the big club, only to be scratched in favor of tRBT whipping boy Chris Bourque (dick).

Shanny calls it quits:
Brendan Shanahan has decided that after 21 years of scoring goals and spending time in the penalty box he is going to hang up his skates. Shanny retires at number 11 in career goals and is the only player to have over 600 goals and 2,000 penalty minutes. In fact he has spent nearly 42 hours in a penalty box over the course of his career. So long good sir.

Superstar will be burying pucks come Thursday:
Instead of burying his face into the chest of that dirty yinzer chick behind the counter at A&L motors. Seriously Max... Go re-do that new commercial... it sucks harder than Michel Ouellet. But in all seriousness we heard he "may" return and immediately crossed out fingers and began saying "please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please."

That's all for now. Yes that was mainly Pens news, but what the hell did you expect when you came to a blog that is so hardcore for all things Pittsburgh? Now go do something productive with your existance... We sure as hell aren't.

What happens when you mix Viagra and cell phones


For the readers of this blog who are too lazy to click let me paint you a picture...
"If you're sitting in a restaurant waiting for your food, you can just talk dirty to someone, and no one knows what you're doing," Jill says, in a slow Southern drawl. "I would rather talk on the phone. But I'm also comfortable with hiding behind texting if I want to say something dirty."
Sounds kind of sexy... Right? Now imagine that Jill is in fact a 50 year old woman. Brace yourselves youthful readers of tRbt: Your parents are sexting.

Yes the recent fad of sending sexually explicit text, or even picture messages has found its way to the AARP card holding members of this fair country. No longer are pre-teen children being kicked out of schools for sending naked pictures of one another. Now it seems your mom is sending a nice photo to dad while he is out at some conference in Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

So next time you send that message to your significant other wondering what she is wearing think for a minute... Could your significant other's parents be doing the same thing?

Prepare to die

Well, it looks like CERN went ahead and fixed their Big Bang machine, or as we like to call it, the black hole-generator/earth-destroyer. This means sooner or later they're going to be back to their usual antics of firing high-speed particles at each other with a big-ass piece of equipment.

Which, in our opinion, would have made one hell of a science project in grade school. While Timmy is busy bringing in his stupid volcano and Suzie is showing off the candy solar system her parents put together, me and Josh are setting up our Large Hadron Collider. Pick us first in gym class, or die via black hole. Your move.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Five things that really suck right now

This is not a Keith Olbermann rip-off (and even if it was, he's not really legitimate enough to matter), but rather a list of the five things we currently feel are either severely overrated or just god-awful and should be avoided by anyone who values their conscience.

5. Sarah Palin's return to the national spotlight

Only in a country obsessed with Jon and Kate could someone like Sarah Palin excel at attracting legitimate attention. Why we are all still talking about her is beyond me; her post-campaign life has resembled that of a trashy reality television show on CMT. But yet we enable her horrendous remarks about ridiculous conspiracy theories and death panels by giving her more attention. Jesus...

4. Weezer's Raditude

Part of the joy of listening to Weezer over the years has been wondering just how weird frontman Rivers Cuomo is, and if he ever is going to grow up. You learn on Raditide that he is not only pretty weird, but also a massive attention whore who probably was a flash in the pan lyrically, and in fact is not ever going to grow up. Terrible commercialized half-assed effort.

3. The Apocalypse

I don't care about the Mayans, I don't care about the guy who held the boom box up and played that Peter Gabriel song in that 80's movie, I don't care. I feel like I'm back in high school trying to trip the kid who was walking down the hall with an armful of the Left Behind books.

2. Fox News

This one might be mainstay on this list, but with their recent purging of YouTube clips featuring their programs (and targeting the ones published by progressives) as well as Shep Smith's awkward and forced apology regarding his complaint about balance, Fox News is looking pretty damn douchey right now.

1. Where the Wild Things Are (film)

Before this movie came out, I was pondering who or what was more overrated than writer Dave Eggers. I discovered it while watching this movie - the answer is a cooperative effort between Dave Eggers and fellow overrated person Spike Jonze. The moral of Sendak's genius book gets lost in this mopey, emo bitchfest that tries way too hard to say "fuck you" to whatever you hoped the movie would be and instead strives to be the least interesting story ever told by anyone ever. The visuals are great, but so are the visuals from a mushroom trip, and at least the latter doesn't tackle you to the ground and take a dump on your dreams.

Kids these days

Don't think we're giving CNN props whatsoever, because we're not. We're not giving that American Morning douche props either, because he sucks massively. We can't stress how much we hate CNN.

That being said, this was the first interview we could find with this kid who won't pledge allegiance to the flag because gays can't get married, and he just rocks. He gets a Rustbelt star of the day for being smarter than most people. What a badass.

This week in places where people are starving

Click the image to view it a little larger. This map represents the world in relation to food consumption. The places where food consumption is higher than normal are proportionally swollen, and the places where it is lower are shrunken:

Surprise! We eat a lot, and Africans don't. Now go enjoy your lunch, fatass.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Hip Hop Friday

- Cut Chemist Suite
Because you heard this song in high school, and you thought it was legit. Admit it.

Suck it, Earth

Yeah, you heard me. With your stupid oceans and your dumb atmosphere. You can take all your fuzzy animals and and trees and gravity and ozone and stick them right up your rapidly-disappearing-but-still-rather-icy ass, you big blue bitch.

Oh, you think I'll take this all back? Think in the end, we'll need you? You think John Cusack and Roland Emmerich are gonna scare me? Well, they're not, and you're not; you know why? Because NASA found water on the Moon. Shazam!
The confirmation of scientists’ suspicions is welcome news both to future explorers who might set up home on the lunar surface and to scientists who hope that the water, in the form of ice accumulated over billions of years, could hold a record of the solar system’s history.

The satellite, known as Lcross (pronounced L-cross), slammed into a crater near the Moon’s south pole a month ago. The impact carved out a hole 60- to 100-feet wide and kicked up at least 24 gallons of water.
So you just keep on heating up and giving us that back talk with all your hurricanes and earthquakes and bad shit happening, and we're liable to up and leave you. Hell, I'll be the first volunteer to go up to the moon.

Or, you know, we could rename it Eagle Freedom Jesus Land and hope the Tea Party folks take the bait.

Now yinz know what to get us for Christmas

From some random website we accidentally stumbled upon during our hourly Facebook creep:

"Whether you prefer chardonnay or merlot, this is the wine glass you need. You can savor the flavor all night long as this glass can hold up to a full bottle of your favorite fruit of the vine. It's just the thing for a cozy night in."
Now why didn't we think of that? It's not like we don't drink a bottle (or 6) in one sitting, anyways.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Favorite non-Steeler. Ever.

The Steelers are a perfect organization; they have balance in all facets of the game, and are time-tested to be a winner every year. Anyone who thinks that the team isn't a football dynasty is either kidding themselves or praying to their Brady Quinn poster for a monster comeback.

With all the talks of Larry Johnson bitching about wanting to become a Steeler, we thought it would be appropriate to say that Rustbelt does not support the idea of LJ coming to the 'Burg. We do, however, wish there was some way to acquire Jared Allen, because, as you see in the video below, he very well might be the coolest dude ever:

Dear Rooney fam, let's get on this.

Chalk another one up for the 412

Now, as our five consistent readers will know, nothing gets the folks at tRBT more turned on than Pittsburgh getting national exposure. Our love for Pittsburgh is an evangelical love; all we want to do is spread it like Christianity and herpes to the rest of the world, and we like to think that we do it as often(at least more often than we do with the herpes - talk about a dry spell) as possible.

This is why we are proud to present you with the news that our mayor, Luke Ravenstahl, has been selected as one of the potential candidates for TIME Magazine's "Person of the Year" award.

Part history, part pop culture, part self-promotion, the magazine has sparked anticipation and debate for decades with its designation of the person or thing -- the computer made it in 1982 -- deemed to have had the most influence on the year's news,

Fresh from his re-election victory, Mayor Luke Ravenstahl has been selected by Time for a panel that will meet tonight in New York City as part of the magazine's selection process for this year's designee.

That's right. Get used to seeing this, bitches:

Come to think of it, why hasn't Snoop gotten this award yet, especially for his pivotal role in Half Baked?

But for real, you know and we know that you know a guy like that.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

This week in pwning Glenn Beck

Click the image to view it bigger, and thus read it. h/t HuffPo

Click here to read the story that explains the arbitration Beck just lost, but the Reader's Digest version is that a satirical website mocking his logic was set up, Beck wanted it removed, filed suit and lost. The guy who started the site wrote the letter above to Beck after the case.

No word yet on when he's going to address the recent aardvark scandal, though.

Not true

Study: Pittsburgh one of the safest metro areas for pedestrians

Seriously...did the people who conducted this study try and cross Grant Street or the Boulevard of the Allies while some HVAC guy in a truck with a customized "STILERZ" license plate is making an illegal turn whilst firing up his sixth Marlboro red and taking a swig of his Circle K coffee?

No, this has to be a joke.

Monday, November 9, 2009

This week in discouraging fucking news

It appears that John Barbero, longtime voice of the one and only Igloo, is not doing so well. Barbero, a Roscoe native, is suffering from Astrocytoma: an inoperable brain tumor. We reported back in August that the Pens were looking for another announcer, and knew that Barbero was ill, but this didn't cross our minds.

We wish you well in your recovery John and hope to hear your voice ringing out again before they shut dahn the Civic Arena for good.

Rustbelt would also like to send out well wishes to Penguins president David Morehouse. Mr. Morehouse suffered a heart attack this morning as the Pens were preparing to leave San Jose for tomorrow night's game in Boston. We'd insert some joke about the play of the team here, but it just doesn't seem right with all this shitty news. Good news is the PG reports that Morehouse is resting comfortably and is expected to make a full recovery.

Sexy Racist Times: Military discrimination edition!

No more Muslims in the military, argues asshole right-wing AFA director Bryan Fischer. No offense, he says, this isn't Muslim discrimination or anything, but since this one Muslim guy when balls-crazy and shot up a military base (this has happened before with non-Muslims), they should all no longer be eligible to serve their country the way infidels do.
It's time we all got over the nonsense that all cultures and religions are equally valid or worthy. They most certainly are not. While Christianity is a religion of peace, founded by the Prince of Peace, Islam is a religion of war and violence, founded by a man who routinely chopped the heads off his enemies, had sex with nine-year old girls, and made his wealth plundering merchant caravans.

And just as Christians are taught to imitate the life of Christ, so Muslims are taught to imitate the Prophet in all things. Yesterday, Nidal Malik Hasan was simply being a good Muslim.
You're so right, Bryan! Because good peace-loving Christians never, ever, ever are the bad guys! We just flit around like little Jesus-doves, never executing people like Mohammed did. Nothing like those savages.

The best part of this post has been saved for last; so we've placed an excerpt of its comments section below. Apparently, these people haven't been reading the Bible enough to get some basic spelling down:
  • Allowing Muslims in any place of leadership especially the military is insane! Islam is pollitcal worse then communisim.
  • I agree 100% with this article. They are barbarians and the sooner we label it as it is the sooner the public may GET it!!! Moslims are not fit to serve in the US Military in any branch for their loyalty is to a their brain washed religion of violence and kill the infidel....which is all of us. Send them back to where they came from and let them cut each other heads off.
  • It does my heart glad to read the responses to this story. I now have hope that there are some other, like myself, that know the dangers of Islam and are not drinking in the poison of "tolerance" My prayers will be that more will wake out of their drunkeness to stand up for truth, to know and confess what's right and what's wrong, what is good and what is evil.
  • It is about time we wake up and keep Muslum's out of the militaary, and watch them closely before more tragedies occur.
  • I would go further and say, Muslims should stay in their own country, where they could share their beliefs with fellow Muslims.
Does this scare the shit out of you?

Video mix of the day

Quite possibly the best video/music mash we've ever seen.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sunday Evening Bird-plosion

Because every weekend should come to its close with creepy, ghoulish-looking clouds of birds:

Saturday, November 7, 2009


Oh yeah: The bill passed. So that guy can suck it.

Hockey Blog Outsourcing

I've been slacking... I know it and you know it. To make up for my lack of posting I present you with news from around the NHL, because hockey rocks and you know it.

Foppa to the Canucks?
It seems Peter Forsberg may not yet be done with the NHL. He has yet to play a game for MoDo, his Swedish Elite League club, and is in discussions with the Vancouver Canucks to hit the ice again. This may help a severely injured Canucks club, but the question remains can Foppa escape injury and actually play?

The Confluence faces everyone's favorite question: Why is Mike Yeo still coaching?!
The idea of someone else running the Pens' powerplay has been on the minds of fans for quite some time. Their recent short comings in that department have once again added fuel to the fire. I for one went back and forth on this, feeling that at least the penalty kill is great, but really it is time for a change. Put simply ewoks humping Al Roker's leg have more success.

Bucci gives us his ode to the hockey mask.
I know others have done this, but I have a giant man-crush on John Buccigross and his obsession with hockey. Gimme a break. Read his salute to 50 years of head protection for the men being peppered with vulcanized rubber. *Author's note: goalie's, while required to wear a helmet, do not have to wear a mask. Begin discussions of who is fucking crazy enough to complete said feat... my vote goes to Ray Emery.*

Deryk Engelland is playing for the big boys.
Engelland was called up for tonight's game against the San Jose Sharks. This news came shortly after coach Disco held Alex "GoGo" Goligoski out of practice. Goligoski seems a bit worn down and dinged up... Hopefully this is a short term assignment, and not a long term problem. GoGo has been a pleasant surprise and with Gonchar still out having him on the bench does not bode well. If he plays this will be Engelland's first NHL game.

Puck Daddy takes a look at the Blue Jackets' financial troubles.
This is shame. Columbus is an up and coming club with a solid roster and a pretty good market to back it. Puck Daddy shows the good that came to the area from adding a pro hockey team, but some changes need to be made to keep the team there. We fully support keeping the Jackets in C-Bus and hopefully the will stay.

Ok that's all for now. I've wasted enough of your time putting up articles you will glance over read voraciously. Enjoy.

Your weekend reminder that the future looks pretty stupid

Virtual goods start bringing real paydays

Look, we're not saying that, on an evening when our decision-making has been clouded by PBR and shame, we haven't pondered the merits of purchasing something badass on Farmville when that virtual time-suck shamefully held us hostage for a few weeks. I for one, admittedly, have come very close on a few occasions to spending very real money on very not-real items. We all have our flaws, so piss off.

That being said, if you read the article we linked above, it will come to your attention that the international market forecast for virtual goods is to the tune of $5 billion. Virtual goods. Nonexistent. Does that blow your mind?

If this is any indication of where business is headed in terms of everyday commerce, we're going to chalk this up alongside Jon & Kate obsessions, Balloon Boy, Fox News ratings, The WWE, Dancing with the Stars, the Jonas Brothers and Lady GaGa as one of the many reasons why the present (and future) is looking awfully stupid.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Thank you Pitchfork

A recent search of Sigur Ros' website, eighteen seconds before sunrise, has revealed fantastic news.

Pitchfork has decided to stream their documentary Heima for one week only. This 12 part documentary features the band in all their glory during the summer of 2007 crossing all parts of their native Iceland.

I for one own this documentary and must say that it is epic... IMDB users agree. Seriously, if you are even the smallest fan of Jonsi et al, take a break and watch this. The cinematography of Iceland itself is worth the time. You can choose certain chapers if you wish, but watching the whole thing is quite an experience.

It just went up today, so go watch it already dammit!

Hip Hop Friday

Because there's a lot of bad news out there that we don't feel like talking about - here's a tune about robots and what's wrong with rap today to get you through this Friday and, if you're like us, to many many beers.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Your daily dose of crazy

Click here, here and here for updates on today's Super Bowl of Freedom.

Afterwards, you may want to drink yourself into a drooling, comatose state in order to forget that you live in a country this embarrassing. I mean come on: the Super Bowl of Freedom? This is all so mind-blowingly stupid and irrational, I truly have nothing at all to say about it, other than wow.

Complete tRBT highbrow smartass joking aside, the fact that these people were running around citing the Holocaust and Jewish banking conspiracies and terrorism is pretty finger-in-the-back-of-the-throat-after-a-bottle-of-Jack-Daniel's-and-a-40-of-Colt. 45 vomit-inducing.

A deserving honor

New Sculpture honoring Fred Rogers, on the North Shore. h/t PG for the photo

Mr. Rogers was the absolute man, anyone who thinks otherwise is lying to themselves. In a world where stupid, idiotic, half-witted reality television dominates, it brings a tear to our eyes to think of the TV world without a cheery (albeit creepy sometimes), sweater-clad man crooning "Won't you be my neighbor?" to King Friday and company.

We are bummed that Dan Onorato used this event as a shameless plug for his gubernatorial run, but there's really nothing anyone can do about that. The man really wants to be the Guv, we guess.

In memory of Mr. Rogers, we'll be prank calling several people with this amazing soundboard.

Well it's about damn time, people

Senate Dems move climate bill without GOP members present

Finally, Democrats have grown a pair. We elected you people into a SUPER FUCKING MAJORITY, gave you a Democratic President and put a shit ton more D's in the House, and you finally realize that you don't need support from the teabagging side. ONE YEAR AFTER WE DO THIS SUPER AWESOME FAVOR FOR YOU. Now all we need is for the President to own his shit and start regulating these bastards, and we're talkin'! But wait, we may have an internal problem:
In a Democrat-only vote, it was 10-1 in favor of reporting the bill, with Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont., the only "no."
Max Baucus. The man who is is responsible for the watered-down health care bill because he was too big of an insurance industry whore to get too into the public option. The man who was given $262,640 by electric utility companies and $585,000 from energy and natural gas companies. Wonder why he's not too privy on the strict emissions caps. Jesus.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Britain joins the White House's war on Fox News

In a shocking parallel to military activity in the Middle East, Britain's Prime Minister Gordon Brown has blindly followed American leadership into yet another war; although this time with not as much imminent danger, so long as Sean Hannity's Hybrid Humvee isn't equipped with a roadside bomb.

Yes, Brown has become yet another leader of a government to criticize a Rupert Murdoch media outlet, this time going after The Sun, a British tabloid-quality news source that is more famous for exposing stories about furious ex-Beatles and their relationships than any actual journalism. But apparently, by supporting some bloke over there from the Conservative party, they did enough to piss PMGB off:

"I think the Sun tried to become a political party that day and that was a terrible mistake. And I suspect over time that their readers will think that, too."

Brown also said that media coverage has become increasingly personal: "I think that's a mistake, too. "Take my recent trip to America. I had meetings every day with Obama, about Iraq, Iran, the economy, global warming, Afghanistan, nuclear power...the journalists there knew what was happening and chose to report it differently. To call it a snub was wrong."

Unfortunately, most people in England are smarter and less batshit-paranoid-insane about their government, and thus sadly there has been little to no public reaction to Brown's comments. No tea parties, no town hall meetings, no awkwardly misspelled protest signs, no nothing.

This is probably the best Pens-themed animated .gif ever

A pretty accurate depiction of what happens when you piss around in the Penguins' zone too long whilst Free Candy is patrolling the ice:

Tip of the hat to Pensblog

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

This week in keeping church and state not-so separated

Click for a bigger image of this; apparently it was ordered to be given out to the faithful in light of the health care legislation going through:

Hmmm. "Thou shall not lie." So they're going to edit that part about abortions being taxpayer subsidized, right?

Headline juxtaposition

Republicans boycott hearing on climate change bill

Snow Cap Vanishing Off Mt. Kilimanjaro

Huh. Imagine that.

Well that's just fucking wonderful, thanks

15 city schools on chopping block: Study is a starting point for district to come up with its own plan

Because, you know, closing schools is the answer to everything. That is, if the question is how to increase gang violence, alienate children from an early age, indoctrinate people into never trusting their school board again, or how to get kids to stop coming to school altogether.

Does anyone else have the awful feeling that education is doomed?

Really, Huffington Post?

Come on, guys. We have learned over time not to take HuffPo too seriously, particularly after the first Jon and Kate Gosselin story we saw on the front page. We then learned, sadly, that a good blog was becoming commercial as all hell (literally - what's up with all the ads these days?) and that nothing, in fact, was sacred anymore. Luckily we still have TPM to get us through the day without a pomegranate juice ad assault.

Back to HuffPo: listen people, calm down. We need folks like Arianna Huffington, the ones who kept their shit together the longest during the election last year and who have been level-headed and clear-eyed about new American liberalism to NOT buy in to the whole "Obama's the worst President 9 months into his presidency" bullshit.

Arianna's new editorial criticizes Obama's ability to govern, asking the reader what the "campaign Obama" would say to President Obama about not living up to some of his lofty idealogical promises. She says that David Plouffe, Obama's old campaign manager, should have called his book "The Timidicy to Govern," rather than "The Audacity to Win."

That's all fine and dandy, Ms. Huffington, but we've said it before and we'll say it again: you didn't help to get this man elected because he is some Politico-Jesus-robot that is going to come down and impale lobbyists and the "old boys" on the Hill with a spear made out of Paul Wellstone's crashed plane; you did it because he was the rational choice to get this country back on track OVER A FOUR YEAR PERIOD. Give the man a presidential term, and if he's still not living up to your excpectations (I'm sure you can give Sean Penn and Tom Hanks a call, go have a $300 dollar sushi dinner and discuss whether or not he is doing enough for the middle class) then vote him out.

But for now, shut up about what Obama is not doing, and think about what he is doing: trying to get this country out of a septic tank that is lined with eight years - not the nine months Obama's been in there - of pure, thick, Texas-brewed poo. So calm down, please.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Stay classy, anti-abortion people

You've gotta love the supporters Scott Roeder, the guy who shot and killed famed late-term abortionist George Tiller. They figured it would be a nice fundraising tool to get together and sell anti-abortion propaganda, such as pictures depicting Tiller beheaded or a Bible with anti-abortionist passages highlighted.

However, what they didn't really get their Lord-softened brains around was that eBay might not exactly be privy to this notion. In fact, the internet auction site thought it was exactly what we think it is: pretty stupid.
After the Kansas City Star reported plans for the auctionlast week, eBay officials said they would "not allow listings that promote or glorify violence, hate, racial or religious intolerance, or items that encourage, promote, facilitate or instruct others to engage in illegal activity."

But the auction's organizers posted what they considered "less offensive" items -- a cookbook written by Shannon, a grisly drawing by Roeder's cell mate -- and managed to get the listing through eBay's filters. There had been one bid of $50 before the listing was shut down.
Classy, gentleman. Really classy. Glad we're all grown-ups here.

Does it scare the bejeesus out of anyone else that this was actually making money before it was shut down?