Godsmacked: Steve Doocy, classy as ever

There was something inherently funny about the story of Bible verses being secretly embedded on the ACOG scopes used on U.S. Military rifles. Some folks would cite the irony of having Bible quotes on a weapon, other P.C. bastards would lament the absence of congruent verses from the Talmud or the Qur'an. Some people in fact got pretty pissed about it.

Fox News' Steve Doocy had another message regarding the 'Jesus guns'. Like the child in detention who, through fits of anger and tears, appeals that the fight was started by the other kid, Doocy blames the unjust criticism of the news on the real child who started this fight: Muslims.

"My wife made a good observation yesterday when we were taking about this story, and that is, 'Hey, wait a minute, the Taliban and the extremists -- what is it they say just before they blow themselves up which kills somebody, they say, 'Allahu Akbar.'' So if anybody's making this a religious thing, they started it," Doocy said.

Hmm...combat exttremism with extremism! I think your wife is onto something, Steve. They started the whole fundamentalist-religious-nutbag thing; we're just following suit. In fact, let's start doing this with all the things that the Arabs started - like algebra. Maybe if you worked on polynomial circles a little more and spent less time at the Fox studio, you would look less like the massive fucking douchebag that you are.

Stereotype (noun, verb): a simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group.

George W. Bush is a gun nut. I get that. I also understand that we was, well, a bit into that whole Iraq thing; into it enough to fabricate a correlation between the 9/11 attacks and the nation of Iraq, a correlation that did not and should not have existed. Furthermore, I know that he will certainly not go down in history as one of the most intellectual presidents, all partisan beliefs aside.

But I really didn't think that he was this fucking obtuse.

In case you're too lazy to click the above link, here's the deal. The centerpiece of the Bush Library is going to be the gun (unloaded at the time) that Saddam Hussein had in his possession (and submitted it to US forces upon his capture) when the Delta Force yanked him out of his rabbit hole outside of Tikrit.

So let me get this straight - you want the central artifact in your library (which will be on a Methodist college campus in Texas, in case you feel like not being surprised at all) to be the gun that was taken from a dictator of a country that had nothing to do with 9/11 and is associated with one of the largest and most embarrassing foreign policy blunders in the entire American history? Can somebody please explain this to me?

Mark Langdale, the president of the foundation that is being set up in Bush's name,

Okay, this is going to be good. A president of a foundation. Has to be an intelligent answer. Right?

"the gun is an interesting artifact, and it tells you that the United States captured Saddam Hussein and disarmed him, literally. How we fit that into the decision to go to war, we haven't gotten to that point yet."

This is too delicious. Well, here's to you, Georgie: may we all remember you as the gun-obsessed Texan making unnecessary connections between two unrelated things. Good luck with the rest of the design of the library, which, I have been told from a Washington insider, will be in the shape of Jesus' beard. Should be very art deco.

Best Google Search Ever 1.0

Type "NRA" in your Google toolbar. I know you have one, because Google owns your shit. Then do an image search. What was the first image? An NRA logo. Okay. Second one? An NRA logo. Fine. What was the third image? YES.



And guess what the real kicker is. This was included in a post as a joke in favor of the NRA and gun crazies! This is a real blog that is staunchly anti-ATF and all things involving the government putting restrictions on Americans' AR-15 purchases. Because there is nothing scary about this.

In case you were wondering: yes, that is an online buyers' guide and review page for actual AR-15's you can actually buy.