Brooks Orpik is one of the best human beings ever forged out of iron and testosterone.

Ahh, the NHL playoffs. A time for upsets, jokes about the losing teams playing golf rather than championship hockey, and Sidney Crosby's terrifyingly rapist-like shitstache. But aside from these perennial gems, the playoffs are also a time for reflection. Brooks Orpik is reflecting on a lot of things; probably about how he is going to recreate "The Shift," only this year it is going to involve punching at least two children.

He never admitted that, but he did have a lot to say to Ron Cook about how great it is to be a Penguin.

"A lot of the guys who have left feel that way. The older guys -- Gary Roberts, Darryl Sydor, Mark Recchi -- used to tell me we have something special here. I think the commitment level -- the camaraderie level -- that this group of guys has is unique in sports."

Orpik grinned, his electric blue eyes dancing even more than usual.

"As stupid and cheesy as that sounds, I really believe it's one of the reasons we are where we are right now."

I like how Cook calls Orpik's crazy eyes that spawned one of the greatest nicknames in sports "electric blue."

Free Candy also revealed something about a certain player that, as what almost happened to Orpik, went off to a team with less talent for a bigger paycheck.

"A guy like [former Penguins teammate] Ryan Malone, if he had to do it all over again, he'd take a lot less to stay here," Orpik said. "I know at the trade deadline, he was begging to come back here.

Brooks Orpik is a man. Read that Ron Cook article if you don't believe me. If not, Brooks knows where you live. He even knows where you enjoy privacy the most. And he's watching.