New job for the Penguins' coaching staff

Bobsled team (from the Penguins' official website):

BUFFALO, NY -- After an adventurous trip the Pittsburgh Penguins have finally reached their hotel in Buffalo, NY – a trip which included several run-ins with Mother Nature – most notably the sight of the Penguins coaching and support staff pushing a team bus after it became stuck on a slick Buffalo street.

With the Penguins about three blocks from reaching their hotel the first bus carrying the players, coaches and support staff could not get its wheels moving on the snow-covered streets. Within seconds head coach Dan Bylsma and several others were rushing out of the door to the rear of the vehicle.

You can't fool us, Yeo. We know you're half-assing that push.


20 Bucks says Granato's the first one in

Snowy

In honor of the blizzard that is currently burying metro DC, we present you with Sidney Crosby's personal nor'easter:

Beautiful.

h/t to the Pensblog

Hockey Blog Outsourcing 2.0

Let us take a moment and reflect on some of the news and notes from around Rustbelt's favorite league:

Pittsburgh Penguins lose player number 437 to injury this season:
Jesus tap dancing Christ how many more players can we possibly lose?!? Alex "GoGo" Goligoski is down two to three weeks with an undisclosed injury. Seriously Pens stop trying to make your Cup Defense 09-10 so goddamn difficult. The good news is at least our Russian sex machine is back and ready to rock.

Letestu sent packing back to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton:
Most of you will look at that headline and wonder who in the great blue balls is Mark Letestu. Well fret not you won't have to worry about who he is anytime soon. He spent a bit of time with the big club, only to be scratched in favor of tRBT whipping boy Chris Bourque (dick).

Shanny calls it quits:
Brendan Shanahan has decided that after 21 years of scoring goals and spending time in the penalty box he is going to hang up his skates. Shanny retires at number 11 in career goals and is the only player to have over 600 goals and 2,000 penalty minutes. In fact he has spent nearly 42 hours in a penalty box over the course of his career. So long good sir.

Superstar will be burying pucks come Thursday:
Instead of burying his face into the chest of that dirty yinzer chick behind the counter at A&L motors. Seriously Max... Go re-do that new commercial... it sucks harder than Michel Ouellet. But in all seriousness we heard he "may" return and immediately crossed out fingers and began saying "please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please."

That's all for now. Yes that was mainly Pens news, but what the hell did you expect when you came to a blog that is so hardcore for all things Pittsburgh? Now go do something productive with your existance... We sure as hell aren't.

This week in discouraging fucking news

It appears that John Barbero, longtime voice of the one and only Igloo, is not doing so well. Barbero, a Roscoe native, is suffering from Astrocytoma: an inoperable brain tumor. We reported back in August that the Pens were looking for another announcer, and knew that Barbero was ill, but this didn't cross our minds.

We wish you well in your recovery John and hope to hear your voice ringing out again before they shut dahn the Civic Arena for good.

Rustbelt would also like to send out well wishes to Penguins president David Morehouse. Mr. Morehouse suffered a heart attack this morning as the Pens were preparing to leave San Jose for tomorrow night's game in Boston. We'd insert some joke about the play of the team here, but it just doesn't seem right with all this shitty news. Good news is the PG reports that Morehouse is resting comfortably and is expected to make a full recovery.

This is probably the best Pens-themed animated .gif ever

A pretty accurate depiction of what happens when you piss around in the Penguins' zone too long whilst Free Candy is patrolling the ice:

Tip of the hat to Pensblog

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... Part 2

You got a problem with my fuckin' beard?!?

It appears the Penguins will once again be without one of the league's best defensemen for four to six weeks. Gonchar, a key component of the Penguin's powerplay, broke a bone in his wrist during last night's 5-1 win over the St. Louis Blues.

Is this as troublesome as the recent injury to a key member of the other championship Pittsburgh team? Not quite. While Gonch is clutch and a fan favorite this may be a bit of a blessing in disguise. Kris Letang, who becomes a restricted free agent at seasons end, will have a chance to show management why he deserves a long term deal, and vice versa.

Hopefully this also helps keep Gonchar, who is 35, a bit more fresh for the latter half of the season when having him sitting on the point waiting to blast one past any unsuspecting goalies is key. Rest up Sergei and we will see you in a few weeks.

Bling blang bloozy

Hot damn there's enough ice on here to need a blue line:

(Why don't you read Pensblog yet?)

'Tis a shame that Detroit could not have snagged these. Since they had to use their last set of Stanley Cup rings to honor their dark pact with Satan and thus no longer have them in their possession, these ones could have been melted down and used as currency over there - or at least as a reserve that equals just a little over four times the amount of Michigan's current GDP. Bummer.

So long and good luck

As the Penguins prepare for this season and chasing the Cup, they watch another beloved member of their family move on. Petr Sykora signed a one year $1.6 million contract with the Minnesota Wild.

As Pens fans you really can't be angry at him. He was one of the most clutch players of the post-lockout years and a fan favorite, but his time had passed. Hampered with a shoulder injury for the end of the regular season and all of the playoffs, Sykora watched his ice time drop to nothing, and some fans jumped on him for it. We can't. We simply cannot blame Sykora for anything that went on. He was, is and always will be one of our favorite players, and I speak for all writers of this blog.

The man that kept the Pens alive in the 2008-2009 Cup run. The man who called his own shot. The man who FINALLY got his hat trick. The same man who FINALLY got to hoist the greatest trophy in sports. The man who upon hoisting said Cup said simply "FUCKIN RIGHT!"

We salute you Petr and wish you nothing but luck in what this author hopes to be a very re-vamped version of Minnesota hockey. As a Wild fan (second only to the Pens since even the North Stars years) this author hopes you continue your streak of 20 goal seasons and enjoy every minute of hockey you play.

Thank you wise sage

Ask anyone on the street if they believe in god(s) and you may enter into a lengthy discussion of which deity's scripture they follow.

Ask a hockey fan the same question and the answer will be a simple "yes... don't fuck with the Hockey Gods."

These preternatural protectors of the pond can strike down those who deny their power, or teach humility to the young leaders of this sport. For those who do not remember, the latter happened at the beginning of the Penguins' 2007-2008 season when Alice Kilgore, a season ticket holder for many moons, was visited by Sidney Crosby in her home. His duty was to deliver her tickets. Her duty was to deliver a message of utmost importance: " I don't think you'll win the cup this year. Not yet. Maybe next year."

This of course came true as the Penguins fell to Detroit in the Finals. In 2008-2009, after a year in which many thought they might not even make it to the playoffs, the Pens followed the message of dear Alice and won sport's ultimate trophy.

Sidney and the Pens are once again preparing for a new season, and once again Mr. Crosby found himself inside the house of Ms. Kilgore. Crosby delivered her season tickets and Lord Stanley's chalice.

Now some of you may think that Alice's message to the young Penguins was simply coincidental, but we see it as something else. Could she possibly be Pittsburgh's very own hockey goddess? Could she have been set upon this spinning pile of rock simply to spread the word of those like her? It is the opinion of this author that I am not alone in this thought... I believe Crosby, a very superstitious man himself agrees. Bringing the Cup to her house was not merely a thank you to a kind-hearted season ticket holder, but also a gift to appease the Hockey Gods in hopes of another push towards keeping the trophy in Pittsburgh.

Think what you will friends of tRbT... the evidence has been laid before you. We will be sacrificing a pee wee hockey player in honor of Alice Kilgore and the rest of the Hockey Gods spread throughout the world.

Thank you Alice... We await your command...

*Author's note: No we aren't really going to sacrifice a small child you simple-minded twits...*

So Long Philippe

Penguins defensemen Philippe Boucher announced his retirement today after winning sport's greatest trophy this past spring.

"For the past 17 years I have been living my dream of playing hockey in the National Hockey League," Boucher, 36, said in a statement. "After finishing this season with the Stanley Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins, I realized that is time for me to walk away from the game I love. I have always admired athletes that have retired as champions and I am humbled to have the chance to count myself among them."

A surprise indeed for Pens fans, and this author for one will miss him. He was certainly no spring chicken but at the same time he was solid in the playoffs and would have been a nice veteran presence on defense. So long and thanks good sir.

Hot damn Pittsburgh is sexy

At this time in exactly one month, we'll be pouring the booze into our aluminum foil Stanley Cups, firing up some stogies, eating man-food and loving our lives.

Not the kind of person that likes waiting a whole month to witness glory? You've got eight days to see another team defend its title.

You just got excited. Admit it.

And no, the Pirates aren't playing in October, because they are about as good at baseball as we are at not getting herpes.

May 25th 1991

Remember this date? No? Most likely not, but it marks the date that the Pittsburgh Penguins marked their names on Lord Stanley's chalice for the very first time. If you missed the game, or like the author of this post, just can't seem to remember a hockey game from when you were 4 years old then fret not. You can watch all 8 goals again right here.

Yes that's right someone took the time to re-create Game 6 of the 1991 Stanley Cup Finals between the Pittsburgh Penguins and Minnesota North Stars. Genius... take some time and watch it.

Do you think you're better than John Barbaro?

If so take your shot... NOW!

The Pens are looking for a second Mellon Arena PA announcer. You can now take your shot and work (part-time) next to the legendary voice of Mellon Arena John Barbaro.

Specific duties include, but are not limited to:

• Announce all Penguins pre-season, regular season and playoff home games
• Attend pre-game production meetings and contribute to development of game script
• Create a unique voice/sound for Penguins home games
• Establish signature calls and traditions for Penguins fans
• Develop a connection with Penguins fans to increase their enjoyment of the Penguins experience
• Effectively call specific game details, promotional messages, and fan prompts
• Utilize voice inflection and enthusiasm to increase fan spirit

Think you can fill that role? Do you think that YOU can be the next voice of the Igloo/Sol Center? Fill out the application at the bottom of that site... what is the worst that can happen?

It might also help to take a look at this and learn a bit from the man himself:

Dog days of summer in the 'Burgh

The news is boresville USA if you're not into the healthcare debate or crazy people, and the Pirates are so bad that we just bought a Washington Wild Things jersey. But fret not, fair dwellers of the greatest city in the world (and its diaspora): the Steelers are in training camp and Hockey season is gleaming over the horizon.

In the meantime, stay cool out there yinz guys:

(Thank you Pensblog for your fantastic post on Hockey mascots)

Look out Loretta

Today we give you part 2 of Puck the Media's interview with broadcasting legend, Mike Lange.

For those of you who missed the late night post of part 1 and are too damn lazy to scroll down a few posts, you can find the first half here.

Many kudos again to Puck the Media for a terrific interview with Mr. Lange himself.

Sports Blog Outsourcing 1.0

We may be a bit behind on some of this news, but back the fuck off...

Tom Barrasso and John LeClair were both inducted into the US Hockey Hall of Fame.
Kudos to both of you along with Frank Zamboni without which we would have nothing to watch in between periods of NHL 93. Tommy B. helped the Pens win 2 Stanley Cups in the early 90's while John LeClair had 58 points over two seasons with the Pens.

Pittsburgh Steelers TE Heath Miller signs 6 year contract extension.
Good call by the Steelers who are facing the daunting task of signing or replacing Casey Hampton, Brett "Diesel" Keisel, Ryan Clark, Willie Parker, Jeff Reed, Willie Colon and Justin Hartwig... Oof. Miller is one of the most underrated tight ends in the league and locking him up long term provides Roethlisberger with a tiny bit more protection for years to come.

Puck the Media grabbed a terrific interview with legendary hockey broadcaster Mike Lange.
We don't care if you love the Pens or hate them... OK maybe we do, but either way you have to admit that Mr. Lange is one of the best in the business.

Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk gets the big middle finger from Steelers Nation.
Florio lists the top 10 reasons the Pittsburgh Steelers will pick up Michael Vick. Jesus fucking christ man... you're main source for an article is a bunch of bookies saying that the Steelers will toss aside Charlie Batch and Dennis Dixon in favor of Michael Vick. Then you go on to weave an intricate web of connections between Vick, Dan Rooney and Omar Epps Mike Tomlin?! I know it is the off season and all, but come on man...

Strike three for Jim Balsillie as the NHL says nay to his offer for the Coyotes.
Gary Bettman and the NHL Board of Governors unanimously voted to reject an offer from Jim Balsille to buy the Phoenix Coyotes and move the team to Hamilton, Ontario. The Board of Governors approved the sale of the struggling team to a group of investors led by Jerry Reinsdorf. The Coyotes have lost money every year since moving to Phoenix, so by all means Mr. Bettman... keep them there and hide behind the Board of Governors... joke.

Pirates trade Freddy Sanchez for a... pitching prospect...
Wait! Don't run away just yet... Tim Alderson, the 22nd overall pick two years ago, was considered the no. 4 prospect in the Giant's system coming into this year. He has posted a 7-2 record and a 3.65 ERA in AA ball this year. Maybe Neal Huntington and co. have some sort of plan... maybe... anyone?

It's a Great Day for Hockey 3.0

It seems the Pens have gone and updated their It's a Great Day for Hockey montage for the playoffs/ownage of the cup... yes The Clarks are still playing in the background.

Enjoy.

Pre-Season baby!

Do you have that itch? That little twinge in the back of your head wondering... WHERE THE FUCK IS HOCKEY!?!? Well we do, and just to tease us all a bit more the Penguins have gone ahead and released their 2009 pre-season schedule:

Friday, Sept. 18, TORONTO AT PITTSBURGH, 7:30 p.m.

Monday, Sept. 21, Pittsburgh at Montreal, 7:30 p.m.

Tuesday, Sept. 22, Pittsburgh at Toronto, 7:00 p.m.

Thursday, Sept. 24, Pittsburgh at Columbus, 7:00 p.m.

Friday, Sept. 25, COLUMBUS AT PITTSBURGH, 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, Sept. 27, Pittsburgh at Detroit, 5:00 p.m.

That leaves us... 71 days 5 hours and 24 minutes (and counting) until we can all watch Geno Malkin and Sidney Crosby blow through defenses like Michael Jackson through a 12 year old boy's underwear.

Max Talbot: Über badass

Max Talbot and his fierce beard shown above holding Lord Stanley

Apparently Max "Superstar" Talbot not only scored two goals in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, but did so with an injured shoulder. Max is scheduled to undergo surgery to repair his shoulder here soon and is expected to miss the first month of the coming season. Many thanks to PensBurgh for breaking the story and finding someone competent enough to translate from French into English.

Only 89 days til the first regular season hockey game... but we're not counting or anything.

Scuds to LA

So long Bobby Scuds... According to the Post Gazette, Pittsburgh Penguins defensemen Rob "The Piece" Scuderi has agreed to a contract with the Los Angeles Kings. Terms are unknown, but are believed to be four years at 3.4 million per year.

Anyone who has watched Penguins hockey for the past few years has always seen Bobby Scuds play his game, and play it damn well. While not the greatest offensive talent to lace up the skates in Mellon (He had 3 regular season goals in 300 games), he was solid in his own end and simply got better year after year.

This year's Stanley Cup Finals brought Lord Stanley's Chalice to Pittsburgh. It also brought about Scuderi's huge pay day with this one shift.



While Rob has said many times he would give Shero & co. the final shot at re-signing him, there is no way the Pens can afford that contract. They only have just under 6 million left for this coming year and they still need to sign another winger and prepare to extend Sergei Gonchar and Kris Letang next year. All of that with a falling cap.

It will be interesting to see what Mr. Shero does to fill the hole left by the now "missing piece" but we here at The Rustbelt Tramp stand behind him. So long Rob Scuderi, thanks for everything.

Go Pens.