The silver lining of our current economic shitstorm

It's not just Americans that are getting sent home early from the assembly line and having their loans default and homes foreclose. Much like black-and-white photos unemployment lines, tenement houses and a bummed-out Woodie Guthrie symbolized the Great Depression in the 1930's, down-and-out terrorists looking for work elsewhere will surely embody the current state of the world's economy. Because when a brainwashed youth can't receive adequate suicide-bombing training and an anti-Western-and-Semitic education, you know it's time to get that dollar strength back up. Buy gas, people!

Senior Treasury official David Cohen said al-Qaeda had made several appeals for funds already this year.

The influence of the network - damaged by US efforts to choke funding - is waning, he said.
The Taliban, meanwhile, are in better financial shape, bolstered by Afghanistan's booming trade in drugs.

According to Mr Cohen, the al-Qaeda leadership has already warned that a lack of funds was hurting the group's recruitment and training efforts.

I don't know what's more bizarre: the fact that al-Qaeda actually has appealed for money or that they feel the need to warn us that their recruitment is down. Can you imagine that phone call?

Alcohol, Firearms and Big Macs

In a time when our nation's economy is dropping faster than Freddie Mac executives in their basement (too soon?) we can rely on one world wide hog fest to see us through. McDonald's and its plethora of artery clogging meals has watched its sales increase "slightly" over the first few months of this year.

Profits at the the US fast-food giant, the world's largest hamburger chain, rose 4% to $979.5m (£676m) from $946.1m in the same period last year. Global sales grew by 4.3%, with those in the US up by 4.7%, those in Europe increasing by 3.2% and those in Asia, the Middle East and Africa climbing by 5.5%.

The best part is this cannot be blamed solely on over-weight, wheezing Americans! Don't worry neighbors around the world, Chuck Norris will be knocking on your door to help shed those pounds soon.