Chalk "potentially getting stung by a venomous insect" as another reason not to go to McDonald's

Is the obesity thing in this country not enough of a reason to keep you away from McDonald's? What about that awful feeling you get when you're done with a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese that feels like a part of you just died? Still want some McNuggets? Well, an Arizona teacher found this little badass waiting for him to reach in and grab one of those fries that always fall out of the grease-soaked cardboard thingie:

Your move, human. Take the napkin and face Deathbringer's wrath!

At least the guy was a science teacher, and stayed relatively calm about the baby scorpion found in his McDonald's bad (baby scorpions are more venomous than their elders), even showing it to his class. The authors of this blog would have just dropped to fetal position, began whimpering softly and soiled themselves.

Alcohol, Firearms and Big Macs

In a time when our nation's economy is dropping faster than Freddie Mac executives in their basement (too soon?) we can rely on one world wide hog fest to see us through. McDonald's and its plethora of artery clogging meals has watched its sales increase "slightly" over the first few months of this year.

Profits at the the US fast-food giant, the world's largest hamburger chain, rose 4% to $979.5m (£676m) from $946.1m in the same period last year. Global sales grew by 4.3%, with those in the US up by 4.7%, those in Europe increasing by 3.2% and those in Asia, the Middle East and Africa climbing by 5.5%.

The best part is this cannot be blamed solely on over-weight, wheezing Americans! Don't worry neighbors around the world, Chuck Norris will be knocking on your door to help shed those pounds soon.