Best thing to blame Swine Flu on ever

Getting trashed and trying to operate a vehicle.

Deborah Karen Graham sought clemency for the charge in the southern city of Queenstown (New Zealand), saying the three glasses of wine she had consumed were more potent because she was recovering from the swine flu virus.

I think I blamed SARS for a bottle of whiskey my parents found under my bed in high school, so I actually sympathize with this woman.

Does this mean Winnie the Pooh can't be friends with Piglet anymore?

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I Sense a Conspiracy...

You see it everywhere... CNN is all over it.
You hear it everywhere... in between calls for donations NPR cannot stop talking about it.

Swine Flu.

Is this the latest in a long line of flu strains that will dominate our news cycle for a month or two until Octo-Mom goes ape shit on one of her kids? Or is this something more...

Could this possibly be the first signs? Could this really spell the end of mankind as we know it? Could I possibly continue making each and EVERY sentence a goddamn question?!?

Sorry... lost my head for a moment. For those of us familiar with these signs, the truth is all but clear. This isn't some form of flu that hopped from pig to human... this isn't any type of flu at all... this is the beginning of the end

Zombies...

Scoff if you may, but while you are sitting around collecting your surgical masks, the authors of this blog will be out preparing for the approaching zombie hordes. Tell your loved ones, leave all major cities and begin stockpiling weapons and other necessities right now.

The end is extremely fucking nigh...