How do you correlate an unrelated crisis to the nation of Iraq?

Simple; waterboard a few detainees until they're "compliant." It worked for Cheney back in 2003.

Wilkerson wrote that in one case, the CIA told Cheney's office that a prisoner under its interrogation program was now "compliant," meaning agents recommended the use of "alternative" techniques should stop.

At that point, "The VP's office ordered them to continue the enhanced methods," Wilkerson wrote.

"The detainee had not revealed any al Qaeda-Baghdad contacts yet. This ceased only after Ibn al-Shaykh al-Libi, under waterboarding in Egypt, 'revealed' such contacts."

Al-Libi's claim that Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's government had trained al Qaeda operatives in producing chemical and biological weapons appeared in the October 2002 speech then-President Bush gave when pushing Congress to authorize military action against Iraq. It also was part of Powell's February 2003 presentation to the United Nations on the case for war, a speech Powell has called a "blot" on his record.

According to CNN, the main purpose of "modifed" interrogation techniques at the beginning of the Bush Administration was to identify a smoking gun linking Iraq to Al-Quaida, and thus the 9/11 attacks. Which makes a lot of sense, actually.

"This is my opinion," Maj. Paul Burney told the inspector-general's office. "Even though they were giving information and some of it was useful, while we were there a large part of the time we were focused on trying to establish a link between aI Qaeda and Iraq and we were not being successful in establishing a link between aI Qaeda and Iraq. The more frustrated people got in not being able to establish this link ... there was more and more pressure to resort to measures that might produce more immediate results."

So next time you're frustrated with your Google search for not finding that Rihanna pic that's been floating around, waterboard your computer. It'll eventually break down and surrender the information to you. Or you will get electrocuted.

Will someone please prosecute these motherfuckers so we can get on with our lives?

So this is what Germany felt like in '45

Speaking of letting people do shit, America: you have no right to be pissed about this. Are you really surprised that this came out now? We all knew it was a matter of time. For 8 years we let it happen and the most we ever did was start an open debate about whether waterboarding was torture; half of you probably perceived that it was a recreational sport (this guy seems to be in the right position, anyway). The pants-shitting going on in the media right now is making us good blue-staters look bad. All we did was vote for Gore and Kerry - we didn't sign off on torture like our appointed/elected leaders did. So put them on trial and stop reminding me it happened, because we all knew then and we didn't do anything.

And why wouldn't they torture innocent people? How else could we find all those terrorists threatening 'Merican soil? It's not like we can walk into Afghanistan or Iraq clinking glass bottles together, beckoning all ill-willed Islamic fundamentalists to come out and play:



Now that's one hell of a foreign policy idea. Alert Secretary Gates immediately.