Sports Blog Outsourcing 1.0

We may be a bit behind on some of this news, but back the fuck off...

Tom Barrasso and John LeClair were both inducted into the US Hockey Hall of Fame.
Kudos to both of you along with Frank Zamboni without which we would have nothing to watch in between periods of NHL 93. Tommy B. helped the Pens win 2 Stanley Cups in the early 90's while John LeClair had 58 points over two seasons with the Pens.

Pittsburgh Steelers TE Heath Miller signs 6 year contract extension.
Good call by the Steelers who are facing the daunting task of signing or replacing Casey Hampton, Brett "Diesel" Keisel, Ryan Clark, Willie Parker, Jeff Reed, Willie Colon and Justin Hartwig... Oof. Miller is one of the most underrated tight ends in the league and locking him up long term provides Roethlisberger with a tiny bit more protection for years to come.

Puck the Media grabbed a terrific interview with legendary hockey broadcaster Mike Lange.
We don't care if you love the Pens or hate them... OK maybe we do, but either way you have to admit that Mr. Lange is one of the best in the business.

Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk gets the big middle finger from Steelers Nation.
Florio lists the top 10 reasons the Pittsburgh Steelers will pick up Michael Vick. Jesus fucking christ man... you're main source for an article is a bunch of bookies saying that the Steelers will toss aside Charlie Batch and Dennis Dixon in favor of Michael Vick. Then you go on to weave an intricate web of connections between Vick, Dan Rooney and Omar Epps Mike Tomlin?! I know it is the off season and all, but come on man...

Strike three for Jim Balsillie as the NHL says nay to his offer for the Coyotes.
Gary Bettman and the NHL Board of Governors unanimously voted to reject an offer from Jim Balsille to buy the Phoenix Coyotes and move the team to Hamilton, Ontario. The Board of Governors approved the sale of the struggling team to a group of investors led by Jerry Reinsdorf. The Coyotes have lost money every year since moving to Phoenix, so by all means Mr. Bettman... keep them there and hide behind the Board of Governors... joke.

Pirates trade Freddy Sanchez for a... pitching prospect...
Wait! Don't run away just yet... Tim Alderson, the 22nd overall pick two years ago, was considered the no. 4 prospect in the Giant's system coming into this year. He has posted a 7-2 record and a 3.65 ERA in AA ball this year. Maybe Neal Huntington and co. have some sort of plan... maybe... anyone?

Did the Pirates just do something smart?

Jack Wilson and Ian Snell have just been traded to the Seattle Mariners, in return for first baseman Jeff Clement, shortstop Ronny Cedeno and right-handed pitchers Aaron Pribanic, Brett Lorin and Nathan Adcock.

This is actually a good call. We have been calling for Wilson to be traded for years; yeah, yeah he's a decent defensive shortstop, but he's a classic underachiever at the plate and he has represented the vomit and shame-inducing policies of the Dave Littlefield era of Pittsburgh Baseball. Snell, on the other hand, was a pretty good pitcher. Although he struggled with consistency these last few years, he had some decent stuff; the thing is, he was incredibly volatile in the locker room and was frequently upset with the press. So no real loss there.

With the way Garrett Jones has been playing, Clement might be splitting time with him at first base, but since Jones can always be optioned into the outfield and Clement to catcher, this is actually looking really, really good. Plus, Cedeno is good and is only going to get better.

I can't believe I am saying this, but that was a good trade. Are the dark ages over? Hell no.

Does this mean no more Sanchez Salsa?

Say goodbye to the most delicious and stereotypical condiments available on Giant Eagle shelves.

In congruence with the latest actions of the Pittsburgh Pirates in trading away anyone who shows signs of consistency or team leadership, the Bucs have announced that Freddy "Dirty" Sanchez is on the trading block.

Oh yeah, Freddy is once again the Pirates' leading hitter with a .313 average and last week was selected for his third All-Star Game in four years. So it was only right to send him away.

Hopefully we get a prospect for him, and one who isn't preoccupied with other business ventures.

Same old Buccos...

You can't teach an old dog new tricks. You can switch ownership titles, move a sub-par GM out (we're still pissed at you Dave Littlefield) and shuffle some head coaches around; if the finished product was broken before, it will still be broken.

Such is the case for the Pittsburgh Pirates, a franchise doomed to set an example, along with the Detriot Lions and L.A. Clippers, on what never to do with a sports franchise. For just over 16 years now, the Pirates have been scraping the shame-encrusted and stomach-acidy bottom of baseball's obscure free agency and "prospect" pool and coming up for air with talent so miserable that it would make Joltin' Joe jolt far, far away.

Bringing washed-up has-beens and overrated prospects who never performed to Pittsburgh like Jeromy Burnitz, Joe Randa, Sean Casey, Ty Wiggington, Bobby Hill, Benito Santiago, Kenny Lofton, Matt Morris, Adam LaRoche...well, you get our point. You guys really suck at this whole baseball team thing.

Anyways, in their latest blunder, they traded the only person on the team who was worth a damn. Outfielder Nate McClouth has been traded away; traded to the Atlanta Braves.

And here's the kicker; what do you think we got for him? Prospects. Two pitchers and one outfielder. And we're bringing up Andrew McCutchen, our top prospect.

Hooray for prospects!

GM Frank Coonely: "This may be the toughest decision we have made in my time with the organization. Nate is a quality player and person but, as we have said several times, tough decisions will need to be made as we build and sustain a championship-caliber organization."

A championship-caliber team, my taint. More like a 16-year old batch of Herpes, freshly blossoming after a night banging someone who looked like Alf. 16 years and counting, but after all this Jim Beam the Pirates have driven me to drink in an angry, irate, profanity-laced tirade, embarrassment never felt so good.

Ryan Doumit out 8-10 Weeks

The Bucs' only real chance at an MVP title or a winning season will be on injured reserve for at least two months. Jason Jaramillo, who we think should make a slight change to his name and number as pictured above, will be taking over the starting catcher's gig. As most Pirates rookies, he is 27 and is starting his carreer in the majors way too late.

Here's to you, Jagramillo - let's hope you don't end up like every Pirates' catcher who ever played before you (besides Manny Sanguillen) and have a good start followed by a steady decline into baseball obscurity. Cheers mate!