Stereotype (noun, verb): a simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group.

George W. Bush is a gun nut. I get that. I also understand that we was, well, a bit into that whole Iraq thing; into it enough to fabricate a correlation between the 9/11 attacks and the nation of Iraq, a correlation that did not and should not have existed. Furthermore, I know that he will certainly not go down in history as one of the most intellectual presidents, all partisan beliefs aside.

But I really didn't think that he was this fucking obtuse.

In case you're too lazy to click the above link, here's the deal. The centerpiece of the Bush Library is going to be the gun (unloaded at the time) that Saddam Hussein had in his possession (and submitted it to US forces upon his capture) when the Delta Force yanked him out of his rabbit hole outside of Tikrit.

So let me get this straight - you want the central artifact in your library (which will be on a Methodist college campus in Texas, in case you feel like not being surprised at all) to be the gun that was taken from a dictator of a country that had nothing to do with 9/11 and is associated with one of the largest and most embarrassing foreign policy blunders in the entire American history? Can somebody please explain this to me?

Mark Langdale, the president of the foundation that is being set up in Bush's name,

Okay, this is going to be good. A president of a foundation. Has to be an intelligent answer. Right?

"the gun is an interesting artifact, and it tells you that the United States captured Saddam Hussein and disarmed him, literally. How we fit that into the decision to go to war, we haven't gotten to that point yet."

This is too delicious. Well, here's to you, Georgie: may we all remember you as the gun-obsessed Texan making unnecessary connections between two unrelated things. Good luck with the rest of the design of the library, which, I have been told from a Washington insider, will be in the shape of Jesus' beard. Should be very art deco.

Traditional marriage = good

Traditional boobies = bad.

This is epically hilarious, and a great lesson in dumb-broadism. Turns out NOM's newest spokeswoman and latest opponent of gay marriage, Carrie Prejean, has no problem with receiving free breast implants at the expense of the pageant. Traditional matrimony I guess trumps traditional anatomy, in Carrie's mind.

MAGGIE RODRIGUEZ, CO-ANCHOR: A question we're going to put to Keith Lewis, the co-director of the Miss California organization, who joins us this morning from Los Angeles. Good morning to you, Mr. Lewis.

KEITH LEWIS, CO-DIRECTOR, MISS CALIFORNIA PAGEANT: Good morning.

RODRIGUEZ: First of all, can you settle this once and for all? Did you pay for or help pay for Miss California's breast implants?

LEWIS: We assisted when Carrie came to us and voiced the interest in having the procedure done, yes.

RODRIGUEZ: Why?

LEWIS: Well, you know, first off, it's not something that we endorse, nor is it something that we suggest. But when we meet with the titleholder when she's crowned Miss California, we put to her a litany of questions about how she feels about herself, what she feels she needs to work on, what she may need to change, what is good, what is not good. We want to put her in the best possible confidence in order to present herself in the best possible light on a national stage.

RODRIGUEZ: Why is the best possible confidence involve getting breast implants? Why does that improve her odds of winning? Why in that meeting don't you discourage her from going that route, rather than help her to pay for breast implants?

LEWIS: Well, we would never encourage her to go that route, but...

Aside from all of the existential questions this forces into the back of one's throat like an impending projectile vomit, one very tangible question first needs to be addressed: Why did it take the media almost an entire week to figure out that these babies were fake, and that this was obviously ironic?

It took my creepy neighbor 30 seconds, and that was only because he was opening a Pabst Blue Ribbon pounder for the first 15.

Next week, we are looking forward to the next fucking hypocrite to come out against gay marriage, so we can ridicule them accordingly.

I saw three ships a'sailing in...and now I'm a racist.

This little nugget comes from our friends over at FOX:

Hundreds of Brown students had asked the Providence, R.I. school to stop observing Columbus Day, saying Christopher Columbus's violent treatment of Native Americans he encountered was inconsistent with Brown's values.

O, wealthy Caucasian people: the kings and queens of the "Jason Bay" (meaningless) protests. Just yesterday on Forbes Avenue a group of students who were definitely not Palestinian were protesting the violent attacks Israel was conducting on Palestinian civilians; sadly, what their poster boards and sharpies failed to mention was that Palestinians were still attacking and torturing Israelis as well. Whoops!

But that is neither here nor there. Back to Brown. Brown University was founded by and had received endowments from slave owners. Hell, the school even led the research of the link between slavery and the Ivy League a few years back. The results? The institutions were financed in some measure by wealth accumulated through the Triangular Trade.

Brown, the seventh-oldest U.S. university, was built with contributions from people who owned slaves or traded in Africans, including the original Brown family, who owned the Sally and sponsored the voyage that killed 109 of its 196 captives.

So let me get this straight, students and faculty at Brown. You don't want to celebrate a holiday named after a guy who oppressed indigenous peoples, cheated them in order to turn a profit for his own nation, and aggressively forced them out of their homes and customs and into a lower echelon of society. Right? Just making sure.

Oh yeah, and get this. What do you think Brown did as soon as their "breakthrough" research was finished? They hired the Ivy League institution's first African-American president: Ruth J. Simmons.

Haven't we seen this move made before?