Stay classy, Vatican

Vatican condemns Hallowe'en as anti-Christian

Ah, yes, because a holiday in which, as we mentioned earlier this week, children dress up like ghouls and get free candy and adults dress slutty and get trashed is such a blatant move by the devil to get us off of Jesus' side. Because these people take their minds off of the baby Jesus for one day to dress up like Frankenstein, we are all waiving our rights to paradise. No thanks, Vatican. Stop taking our lives so seriously. Then again, I guess that's what we pay you for. Sigh.

Like friggin' clockwork

actual photo, sadly, from Greater Things. Don't click on that link.

Read this article - but if it gives you the spooks, know that it has nothing to do with the upcoming holiday that, according to that article you better have clicked on and read, is nothing but demonic soul-raping satanist lies.

No, according to wingnut and pseudo-holyman Pat Robertson's blog, the day that kids dress up and get free candy and adults dress up slutty and get shitfaced is a feast of the devil!

The word "holiday" means "holy day." But there is nothing holy about Halloween. The root word of Halloween is "hallow," which means "holy, consecrated and set apart for service." If this holiday is hallowed, whose service is it set apart for? The answer to that question is very easy—Lucifer's!
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During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

What?!? My Almond Joys have been prayed over by witches before they reached my grocery store? Does Satan hang out down at the wholesalers?

This shouldn't actually suprise anyone, as the ultrareligious crazies have pretty much tried to get rid of everything fun; not just everything halloween-related. Other amenities include booze, Harry Potter, sex, art, other religions, stories about gay penguins, and actual fun.