Stay Classy, U.S. Senator Tom Coburn (R- duh)

Today's shitstorm of lies comes from Tom Coburn, a Republican from Oklahoma who has a problem with the Democrats' health care proposals. Tom's view isn't a far cry from the notion that there are not going to be Death Panels awaiting your grandmother's next visit to the hospital, armed with a baseball bat covered in razorblades that have all been soaking in cyanide, but at least it's not that negative. He just thinks that grannie is going to die sooner naturally, that's all!

"If it doesn't raise costs, and we're truly going to take this money from Medicare, what it's going to do to our seniors is, I have a message for you: 'You're gonna die sooner.'"

Wait...let me get this straight. You don't want a government-run public option because you're afraid it's going to take money from A GOVERNMENT-RUN PUBLIC (albeit limited to the elderly) OPTION!?

Stay classy, anti-abortion people

You've gotta love the supporters Scott Roeder, the guy who shot and killed famed late-term abortionist George Tiller. They figured it would be a nice fundraising tool to get together and sell anti-abortion propaganda, such as pictures depicting Tiller beheaded or a Bible with anti-abortionist passages highlighted.

However, what they didn't really get their Lord-softened brains around was that eBay might not exactly be privy to this notion. In fact, the internet auction site thought it was exactly what we think it is: pretty stupid.

After the Kansas City Star reported plans for the auctionlast week, eBay officials said they would "not allow listings that promote or glorify violence, hate, racial or religious intolerance, or items that encourage, promote, facilitate or instruct others to engage in illegal activity."

But the auction's organizers posted what they considered "less offensive" items -- a cookbook written by Shannon, a grisly drawing by Roeder's cell mate -- and managed to get the listing through eBay's filters. There had been one bid of $50 before the listing was shut down.

Classy, gentleman. Really classy. Glad we're all grown-ups here.

Does it scare the bejeesus out of anyone else that this was actually making money before it was shut down?

Stay classy, Vatican

Vatican condemns Hallowe'en as anti-Christian

Ah, yes, because a holiday in which, as we mentioned earlier this week, children dress up like ghouls and get free candy and adults dress slutty and get trashed is such a blatant move by the devil to get us off of Jesus' side. Because these people take their minds off of the baby Jesus for one day to dress up like Frankenstein, we are all waiving our rights to paradise. No thanks, Vatican. Stop taking our lives so seriously. Then again, I guess that's what we pay you for. Sigh.

Stay Classy IUP

Man charged with assaulting police horse

Yes, that is the true headline... A man assaulted a horse and was subsequently tossed in jail. These are the type of things only drunken undergrads would do yes? Well...

Police say 37-year-old Reed Ciotti of Indiana, Pa., pushed the horse, then grabbed the animal's reins when police asked Mr. Ciotti to move out of the area while they dealt with another incident. Police say this all incident happened about 1:35 a.m. yesterday.

Maybe not... To be honest if Indiana University of Pennsylvania's homecoming is anything like the other small state colleges in the area, seeing an alumnus stumbling through town with a beer in hand looking to fight a horse isn't exactly out of the ordinary.

After much research, the authors of this blog discovered video evidence of the incident and the end result is just shocking: