Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Hockey Blog Outsourcing 2.0

Let us take a moment and reflect on some of the news and notes from around Rustbelt's favorite league:

Pittsburgh Penguins lose player number 437 to injury this season:
Jesus tap dancing Christ how many more players can we possibly lose?!? Alex "GoGo" Goligoski is down two to three weeks with an undisclosed injury. Seriously Pens stop trying to make your Cup Defense 09-10 so goddamn difficult. The good news is at least our Russian sex machine is back and ready to rock.

Letestu sent packing back to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton:
Most of you will look at that headline and wonder who in the great blue balls is Mark Letestu. Well fret not you won't have to worry about who he is anytime soon. He spent a bit of time with the big club, only to be scratched in favor of tRBT whipping boy Chris Bourque (dick).

Shanny calls it quits:
Brendan Shanahan has decided that after 21 years of scoring goals and spending time in the penalty box he is going to hang up his skates. Shanny retires at number 11 in career goals and is the only player to have over 600 goals and 2,000 penalty minutes. In fact he has spent nearly 42 hours in a penalty box over the course of his career. So long good sir.

Superstar will be burying pucks come Thursday:
Instead of burying his face into the chest of that dirty yinzer chick behind the counter at A&L motors. Seriously Max... Go re-do that new commercial... it sucks harder than Michel Ouellet. But in all seriousness we heard he "may" return and immediately crossed out fingers and began saying "please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please."

That's all for now. Yes that was mainly Pens news, but what the hell did you expect when you came to a blog that is so hardcore for all things Pittsburgh? Now go do something productive with your existance... We sure as hell aren't.

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