Blog Outsourcing...3.0? It's been a while

Hark! It appears God's opinion is quite similar to my own.
Turns out people like the idea that their own beliefs are conducive to the King of Kings' - but according to a new study, it actually just makes religion an echo chamber of sort for someone's already established opinion - no matter how wrong that opinion may be. It's good to know that, like myself, God wants all those gays to quit wanting to get all married and shit. That does feel good.

Pearl Harbor happened today, 1941.
Clicking the above link will direct you to the story of the "mystery submarine" that also allegedly participated in the siege on the U.S. Naval base. No comments were submitted from the local chapter of the "Pearl Harbor Truthers."

Those attention whores from the State Dinner aren't the first to breach Secret Service.
No, it appears that over the span of twenty-odd years, 91 security breaches have been reported by officials. That's not even counting the time we made it halfway onto the White House lawn dressed as giant pretzels during the Bush II years. 92, bitches.

The timetable for Afghanistan is, like, flexible and stuff.
Debacle: [dey-bah-kuhl, -bak-uhl, duh-]
- noun

1.	a general breakup or dispersion; sudden downfall or rout.

2.	a complete collapse or failure.

3.	a breaking up of ice in a river.

4.	a violent rush of waters or ice.

See Also: Clusterfuck, shitstorm, quagmire, failure, Iraq

The Tea Party replacing the GOP? Survey says yes.
So apparently, among voters of the FREEDOM NO TAXES JESUS CAMOUFLAGE GOD NO ABORTION EAGLE PATRIOT OLD GLORY NO MUSLIMS APPLE PIE persuasion, the Tea Party is the political affiliation they would like to be identified with, not the Republican Party. This is just getting more and more fucking embarrassing.

President Obama is going to be late to the Copenhagen climate talks
No doubt this is because he knows climate change is bullshit. He just wants to attend the finale of the talks to see if Italy's bringing cannolis again.

Hockey Blog Outsourcing 2.0

Let us take a moment and reflect on some of the news and notes from around Rustbelt's favorite league:

Pittsburgh Penguins lose player number 437 to injury this season:
Jesus tap dancing Christ how many more players can we possibly lose?!? Alex "GoGo" Goligoski is down two to three weeks with an undisclosed injury. Seriously Pens stop trying to make your Cup Defense 09-10 so goddamn difficult. The good news is at least our Russian sex machine is back and ready to rock.

Letestu sent packing back to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton:
Most of you will look at that headline and wonder who in the great blue balls is Mark Letestu. Well fret not you won't have to worry about who he is anytime soon. He spent a bit of time with the big club, only to be scratched in favor of tRBT whipping boy Chris Bourque (dick).

Shanny calls it quits:
Brendan Shanahan has decided that after 21 years of scoring goals and spending time in the penalty box he is going to hang up his skates. Shanny retires at number 11 in career goals and is the only player to have over 600 goals and 2,000 penalty minutes. In fact he has spent nearly 42 hours in a penalty box over the course of his career. So long good sir.

Superstar will be burying pucks come Thursday:
Instead of burying his face into the chest of that dirty yinzer chick behind the counter at A&L motors. Seriously Max... Go re-do that new commercial... it sucks harder than Michel Ouellet. But in all seriousness we heard he "may" return and immediately crossed out fingers and began saying "please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please."

That's all for now. Yes that was mainly Pens news, but what the hell did you expect when you came to a blog that is so hardcore for all things Pittsburgh? Now go do something productive with your existance... We sure as hell aren't.

Hockey Blog Outsourcing

I've been slacking... I know it and you know it. To make up for my lack of posting I present you with news from around the NHL, because hockey rocks and you know it.

Foppa to the Canucks?
It seems Peter Forsberg may not yet be done with the NHL. He has yet to play a game for MoDo, his Swedish Elite League club, and is in discussions with the Vancouver Canucks to hit the ice again. This may help a severely injured Canucks club, but the question remains can Foppa escape injury and actually play?

The Confluence faces everyone's favorite question: Why is Mike Yeo still coaching?!
The idea of someone else running the Pens' powerplay has been on the minds of fans for quite some time. Their recent short comings in that department have once again added fuel to the fire. I for one went back and forth on this, feeling that at least the penalty kill is great, but really it is time for a change. Put simply ewoks humping Al Roker's leg have more success.

Bucci gives us his ode to the hockey mask.
I know others have done this, but I have a giant man-crush on John Buccigross and his obsession with hockey. Gimme a break. Read his salute to 50 years of head protection for the men being peppered with vulcanized rubber. *Author's note: goalie's, while required to wear a helmet, do not have to wear a mask. Begin discussions of who is fucking crazy enough to complete said feat... my vote goes to Ray Emery.*

Deryk Engelland is playing for the big boys.
Engelland was called up for tonight's game against the San Jose Sharks. This news came shortly after coach Disco held Alex "GoGo" Goligoski out of practice. Goligoski seems a bit worn down and dinged up... Hopefully this is a short term assignment, and not a long term problem. GoGo has been a pleasant surprise and with Gonchar still out having him on the bench does not bode well. If he plays this will be Engelland's first NHL game.

Puck Daddy takes a look at the Blue Jackets' financial troubles.
This is shame. Columbus is an up and coming club with a solid roster and a pretty good market to back it. Puck Daddy shows the good that came to the area from adding a pro hockey team, but some changes need to be made to keep the team there. We fully support keeping the Jackets in C-Bus and hopefully the will stay.

Ok that's all for now. I've wasted enough of your time putting up articles you will glance over read voraciously. Enjoy.

Blog Outsourcing 1.4

Usain Bolt can run pretty fast.
Seriously. There were rumors that Steelers had brought him to camp last year and were considering him a wide receiver candidate. As Seth Rorabaugh from Empty Netters would note, fire Dan Rooney.

Tiger Woods is a human being.
Seriously, the guy looked like Happy Gilmore out there, getting some nice drives and then falling apart on the Green. Y.E. Yang (please please please make his first name be Yin...it's not...damn), a Korean golfer who had some success in his country's golf circuit, took the lead after a beautiful chip-in for an eagle. Did I just write about golf? Jesus.

In the healthcare debate, Obama might be wussing out on a public option.
Your move, teabaggers.

FOX news is not the biggest fan of our President.
Or being taken seriously. Our friends at the Huffington Post point out that the "news" organization has duly hit its stride since the election of a Democratic president and a majority in the House and Senate. I have noticed that Sean Hannity's hair has been a little more American ever since November 4th.

Penn State invented a Death Detector.
Zombies be damned! Even you:
Japan takes the Bronze medal for nations exiting their recessions.

Any chance we can get honorable mention?

Blog Outsourcing 1.2

Jupiter has been attacked.
NASA has confirmed an Earth-sized hole in the gas giant's atmosphere Monday night. Experts are saying "something large" has struck Jupiter in the last few days, most likely a comet or a block of ice. We're just glad Jupiter is bearing the brunt of all these cosmo-shenanigans, because if that thing came our way we would be needing a ride off of this rock.

Ed Rendell sucks worse than ever.
PA Governor Ed Rendell's job approval rating dropped to the lowest level it's been, according to a statewide poll. Rendell seemed confused when presented with this information, citing that the city of Philadelphia seemed to be quite pleased with him. The closest reporter to the governor began citing Pennsylvania's other 66 or so counties, but the comments were not heard as the governor, donning a Scotty Hartnell wig, began "going at it" with the Philadelphia Phanatic. Without getting too avant-garde with the details, we'll just reveal that a statuette of Rocky and a shellacked cheesesteak from Pat's were used in ways which God had not intended them to be utilized.

It's still really not cool to dress up like a Nazi, even in Romania.
You'd think by now people would figure out that this is not very acceptable anywhere. I'm pretty sure if you dressed like a Nazi in New Guinea that you would be accosted for doing so. But apparently, Romanian Mayor Radu Mazare did not follow the recent example of one of Britain's finest and thew on some 3rd-Reich inspired garbardine. Tom Cruise's role in Valkyrie is what allegedly gave him the idea to don the outfit. Vomit.

If you douse yourself in a flammable liquid, then sequentially get tased, you're probably going to burst into flames.
Pretty self-explanatory. Some crazy Australian bastard doused himself with "petrol" then charged a cop, and apparently the cop didn't hear the Aussie cry "Don't tase me, mate!" If you're a liberal and you get upset about this, go light yourself on fire for the rest of us. Seriously.

Guantanamo is still open.
Apparently the economy, health care reform, heightened tension in Afghanistan and (probably) Michael Jackson's death have preoccupied the folks who were in charge of figuring out what to do with the detainees who are actually dangerous. The innocent ones who were just waterboarded until they confessed are probably pretty bummed, though. Cheney isn't.

Blog Outsourcing 1.0

There were a shit ton of people downtown yesterday.
And they were all sweating, because for the first time in roughly six decades, not a cloud was in the sky in Western PA. The Hockey Gods have a way of keeping your ass in line.

The "Election Commission" in Iran agreed to do a recount.
Let's hope they have a better sense of fairness than, say, the 2000 United States Supreme Court. It's Iran, so we're not too optimistic about it.

PA State Senator Jim Ferlo wants you to protest during the G20 summit.
We don't love state government here at tRBT, but that was ballsy. Much respect to Senator Ferlo. Now tell them to be gentle; they'll be amongst champions.

As if the Republican Party hasn't done enough in the past few months to look like racist assholes,
They go and pull another one of these moves off. Hopefully this will teach them that things circulate pretty quickly online. Granted a racist depiction of Barack Obama isn't a cell phone pic of Miley Cyrus striking a pose in a bikini top, it still managed to get around the net.

Charles Darwin the art influence?
The scientist and author of On the Origin of Species apparently is also responsible for some pretty sweet 19th Century art. Mr. Darwin was not available for comment, as he is not only deceased but also serving out his sentence of eternity in the dark, fiery chasms of Hell.

**UPDATE**
I did not realize that my two favorite blogs do a very similar segment (Empty Netter Assists and Cheap Blogging Crutch). Since our blog was created as a not-so-subtle rip-off of these two respected sources, suck it.