Monday, September 7, 2009

Thank you wise sage

Ask anyone on the street if they believe in god(s) and you may enter into a lengthy discussion of which deity's scripture they follow.

Ask a hockey fan the same question and the answer will be a simple "yes... don't fuck with the Hockey Gods."

These preternatural protectors of the pond can strike down those who deny their power, or teach humility to the young leaders of this sport. For those who do not remember, the latter happened at the beginning of the Penguins' 2007-2008 season when Alice Kilgore, a season ticket holder for many moons, was visited by Sidney Crosby in her home. His duty was to deliver her tickets. Her duty was to deliver a message of utmost importance: " I don't think you'll win the cup this year. Not yet. Maybe next year."

This of course came true as the Penguins fell to Detroit in the Finals. In 2008-2009, after a year in which many thought they might not even make it to the playoffs, the Pens followed the message of dear Alice and won sport's ultimate trophy.

Sidney and the Pens are once again preparing for a new season, and once again Mr. Crosby found himself inside the house of Ms. Kilgore. Crosby delivered her season tickets and Lord Stanley's chalice.

Now some of you may think that Alice's message to the young Penguins was simply coincidental, but we see it as something else. Could she possibly be Pittsburgh's very own hockey goddess? Could she have been set upon this spinning pile of rock simply to spread the word of those like her? It is the opinion of this author that I am not alone in this thought... I believe Crosby, a very superstitious man himself agrees. Bringing the Cup to her house was not merely a thank you to a kind-hearted season ticket holder, but also a gift to appease the Hockey Gods in hopes of another push towards keeping the trophy in Pittsburgh.

Think what you will friends of tRbT... the evidence has been laid before you. We will be sacrificing a pee wee hockey player in honor of Alice Kilgore and the rest of the Hockey Gods spread throughout the world.

Thank you Alice... We await your command...
*Author's note: No we aren't really going to sacrifice a small child you simple-minded twits...*

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