Monday, June 1, 2009

Ryan is a burnout - G20 in the 412 this time, bitches

Hopefully not a Pittsburgher, not pissed off in the Strip District.

I was going to let Ryan take the glory for this last week, but he was allegedly too busy.
“It is great to see Pittsburgh recognized as the world class city that it is,” said Laura Ellsworth, partner in charge of Jones Day’s Pittsburgh office. The international law firm has offices in 11 of the G20 nations. “Our clients around the world are looking at Pittsburgh as a leader because it has faced problems like pollution from an industrial area, and its rebirth, multiple times, through an evolving economy and now going into a green phase. To focus on the city now will only increase our ability to serve that leadership role.”
In light of the summit, we've decided that for one day, we should host a panel. We're getting a list of topics ready:
  • A suggestion to codify as law the impact that Jeff Goldblum, Michael Keaton and that douchebag from Central Catholic who played Spock in the new Star Trek movie have had on international film.
  • Zone Blitz Economy: How electing Dick LeBeau as Supreme Commander of the Free World will solve our global economic crisis
  • Pierogies are international - a report from one Polish Pittsburgher to the World
  • The role of the cole slaw on a Primanti Bros. sandwich
  • Kris Letang, Marc-Andre Fleury and the French-Canadian accent: A lesson in Globalization
  • Why liberal Americans are racists and sexists for supporting Hispanic, female Supreme Court nominees.
  • The Pittsburgh Pirates, and how they differ from the Somali pirates: a brief introduction
We're going to hit the G20 up and see if they would want us to discuss any of these. I think the last one is going to be my dissertation one day.

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