Friday, June 26, 2009

Yes... We're still here...

Our sincerest apologies for no posts this week. Blame it on being busy, lazy or too drunk to type, but now I digest.

Big losses this week... Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael "Beat It... and by it I mean the cock of a 12 year old boy" Jackson. We're sad to see Mr. McMahon go, and I'm sure Farrah is pretty pissed that raging pederast stole the headlines away from her. Sorry Farrah.

Finally, to make up for our lack of posting, and because we felt the need to take a short trip down memory lane, we give you the Man v. Wild drinking game. Yes that's right kids... next time you see Bear Grylls hopping into quicksand or munching down on a scorpion you can use these rules to get tanked.

This game has been thoroughly tested (and created) by the authors of this blog... enjoy.

Man v. Wild drinking game
Necessary equipment:
- A television with any episode of Man v. Wild playing (bonus points for DVD copies of episodes)
- Beer, wine or hard liquor of choice for EACH player.

- Simply take the required number of swings whenever the event happens within the show.

Mentions protein of vitamin gains from any food source: 2 drinks
Mentions his morale: 2 drinks
Builds a shelter/fire: 2 drinks
Builds a flotation device: 2 drinks
Innovative way of keeping himself warm (ie. skinning a dead elk and using the hide as a blanket): 3 drinks
Marvels at nature's beauty: 2 drinks
His plan fails: 5 drinks
Constructs a weapon or trap: 3 drinks
Kills an animal: 3 drinks (note: extra drinks awarded based on the man-fleshing eating capibilities of the animal).
Kills a bug: 2 drinks
Crazy insertion method (not in a sexual manner... perv.): 3 drinks
Mentions the body count of a certain area: 2 drinks
Jumps into a freezing cold body of water: 3 drinks
Makes himself a cup o' tea: 4 drinks
Midnight chat with the camera: 2 drinks
Ascends or descends a large cliff, hill, mountain or tree: 2 drinks
Use of an innovative hygene method: 3 drinks
Mentions his "manhood": 4 drinks
Talks to the crew: 3 drinks
Uses his urine for any method: 3 drinks
Vomiting occurs: 4 drinks
Bear finds civilization or the crew has to bail him out: finish your drink

Use these as you deem necessary and change them as you wish. Hell we don't care, we just wanted to put them down some where so we wouldn't lose them... again. Enjoy.

No comments:

Post a Comment