Kazaam vs. Big Ben

You thought you were on cloud nine, flaunting your super bowl rings and surviving helmetless motorcycle accidents. But let's see if that O-line you routinely ballyhoo can protect you from a SHAQ ATTACK:

Kazaam. He's comin fo yo ass, Ben.

The showdown of the century is among us; if you ever have looked at Ben Roethlisberger and Shaquille O'Neil and pondered who would be a better quarterback at the helm of a minor league football team, now is your chance to finally live out your wildest fantasies.

As part of his new reality TV show, “The Shaq Show,” basketball star O’Neal will be at Ambridge Area High School’s Moe Rubenstein Stadium from July 22 to 24. The 7-foot-1 center will get a crash course in quarterbacking, working with the Pittsburgh Colts semi-pro team.

The Wednesday and Thursday practices will be closed to the public, said Randy Cosgrove, athletic director for Ambridge Area. But everyone’s invited to Friday’s 6 p.m. showdown, in which O’Neal will take turns with Pittsburgh Steelers star Roethlisberger, seeing who does a better job of running the Colts’ offense. Another semi-pro team might be added, too.

A recent signing with the Cleveland Cavaliers, frequent usage of modern social networking and a TV show. It's like the 90's all over again, with Shaq at the top of his game.