Wednesday, May 6, 2009

How to melt a fundamentalist's mind: Exposed!

Have you ever patiently sat and listened to someone talk about creationism? If you're like me and you end up drop-kicking said person, that is okay. But if you have ever listened, one of the conclusions you most certainly would draw is that it is excrutiatingly painful to do. Having someone argue against a solid scientific theory with religious dogmatic mumbo-jumbo actually has caused a further loss in rational people's faith; this time in humanity, not the divine.

How does one get any relief when confronted with such dumbassness? Chris Matthews found the solution: be calm and seriously ask them if they believe in evolution - then, watch them go absolutely batshit insane.
Do you believe in evolution, sir?" Chris Matthews asked Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.), a leading House conservative.

"Um... I, do I believe in evolution? Ah, I, I, ah... I embrace the, uh -- the, uh -- the view, ah, that God created the heavens and the earth, the seas and all that's in them..."

Matthews interrupted. "Right, but do you believe in evolution as a means to get there?"

...Matthews concluded, "I think you believe in evolution, but you're afraid to say so because your conservative constituency might find that offensive."

Ah, I, I, ah...already look like a dumbass so rather than affirming my secret Darwinist beliefs I am going to rattle off something I read in a children's Bible once. Great strategy, Congressman. At least he didn't say we are all thetans reincarnated from an extraterrestrial planet where we were slaves. Cuz that would be even crazier.

At the end of the day, people like Mike Pence are going to thrust their usual rhetoric out of their windpipes, no matter how much of the argument is pure psychobabble caused by the guilt of knowing that what's coming out of that windpipe is pure, skull-raping baloney. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Because, you know, if you don't believe in evolution, you're totally safe from that recent thing that's been in the news. Because if organisms can't evolve, that flu strain is no different than the one that kicked your ass last winter.


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